It ends tonight...

"Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can explain myself at all
And all the wants
And all the needs
All i don't want to need at all

A falling star
Least i fall alone
I can't explain
What you can't explain
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such distain

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow

Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
Just a little insight won't make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight..."

Pain...

"When people get hurt...
They learn to hate...
When people hurt others...
They become hated...
And are racked wiht guilt...

But knowing that pain allows people to be kind...
Pain allows people to grow...
How u grow up is up to you...
You know pain...

You think about it...
and the answer u find is up to you...
But i cant understand this pain in my chest...
It hurts so bad...

But im not bleeding...
Wut is this? I wonder...
This pain doesnt go away...
No matter wut i've tried...

I have to face it...
If this is my destiny...
To find the answers...
But when i tried to get rid of this pain...

I've only hurt others...
Sham...Efi...Syaheela...
Then,if im the one that cause people pain...
I resolve never to let anyone get hurt ever again...

It's better this 'way'...
I wont ask u to stay...
For the sake of me...
I rather walk away...

But as i said...
From this pain...
That still burns inside of me...
I will grow to become the 'prince'..
I've always meant to be...

From this pain...
I'll turn it...
To be the reason...
For me to stay alive...
And to be happy...

Destiny is a funny thing...
But if open my mind and my heart...
Im sure i'll find mine...

I've got to face the ghost and demons...
From my past...
Then,i'll finally be content with my life...

I can't give up just yet...
I still havent found the answers...
And also...
There's a promise i made to someone...

A girl..
A little girl...
I promise to be with her...
Until the day...
I die...

A fren promise...
A self promise...
Nothing more...

As i hold on...
To that promise...
And to find the answers...
I will live this life...
With my frens...
No matter how much pain...
I have to go through..."

"Who Am I?"

"For every being cursed with self-awareness,
There remains of the unanswerble question,
Who am i?
We struggle to find meaningful connections,
to one another,
We are the caring friend,
The loving father,
The doting mother,
The protected child,

We fight and we love in the hope of somehow,
together we can understand our significance in the universe,
But in the end,
No one can share our burden,
Each of us alone must answer the question,
Who am i?
What does it mean to be alive?
And in the vast and infinity of time,
How do i matter?"

Tamil Power Rangers!!!

Hahahaha! This video is hillarious! I couldnt get enough of it! The world famous Power Rangers in Tamil version! Hahahaha! This will really tickle ur funny bone!

Im the fool...

Before anyone reads this,just want to warn u that everything that i wrote in my blog has nothing to do with someone i really love..except the poems of course...but everything else,it's just about how i feel about my frens...im not that stupid to write about the one i love on blog...this will be most probably my last entry coz im tired...i need to quarantine my heart...i need to get away...i need to run away...far2 away...here it is.... my last entry....

im talking about u...u know who u r...if u dun know who u r,here's a tip...i once call u lina...

im sori if i've hurt u...

i didnt mean to...

im sori that i dissapoint u...

im sori that i bring to much sorrow...

im sori that i bring to much pressure...

i expect too much from u...

i've shouldnt have...

u r already perfect with who u r...

i just want to please u..

i just want ur full attention...

i tried with the wrong way...

history has already repeat itself...

and it's all my fault..

i couldnt bare the pain of being alone...

i thought i could change my destiny...

but now..

i realize...

i need to quarantine my heart..

if i dun,i'll just bring chaos to anyone who gets 2 near...

i know,i have many frens...

im really grateful...

but i still dun know wut to do to make my heart happy...

i know wut's missing...

but i just dun know how 2 obtain it...

we used to be so close..

but then i ask 4 something that u didnt have...

i was selfish...

im a fool...

for that mistake...

we aint that close anymore,r we?

"I've hurt u,u've hurt me"

im really sori...

i wasnt myself...

i didnt mean too...

i really wish we could be like last year...

but it's too late...

now,all that's left is a mere memory...

u arent the same as wafa...

at least u kept ur promise...

but maybe i do have to suffer alone...

at least i wont make u suffer...

at least i wont make my frens suffer...

i hold u so high up in my heart coz i though u could give me the answers that i needed...

but that's just selfish and stupid..

im just torturing u...

im just giving u too much pressure...

i didnt thought about ur condition...

i always only thought about myself...

u may think i dun need u...

but it really it's the opposite way...

but now,if i get 2 close...

i might hurt u again...

i wont let that happen...

it's hard enough knowing that the f2 girl likes somebody else...

it's stupid to hope something that wasnt even there from the beginning...

i may have my problems to deal with...

but the responsibilites as a fren doesnt come down...

u,mel,faisal,pirol,atiqah...and all of my frens...

u can always count on me..

i may not be funny like pirol!...

or 'bising' like nat...

but i'll try everything i can to help u guys...

im really sori 4 everything...

i know that im not the perfect fren...

4 that,im sori..

i cant socialize very well...

i hurts me to know that...

but ill try my best to be a fren...

now im not asking 4 ur attention...

now,im asking 4 ur forgiveness...

"it's easy to do nothing,but it's hard to forgive"

i cant forgive myself..

eventhough i may have forgiven u...

this post,has got nothing to do with 'love'

it's just that i felt our bond of frenship were once so strong...

now,it's not...

for that,i blame myself....

again,im sori 4 everything..

*just so u know,u'll always have a special place in my heart =D

Who is that boy...?

Look at me,
I will never pass for a perfect friend,
or a perfect son
Can it be,
I'm not meant to play this part
Now I see,
That if I were truly to be myself,
I would break my friend's & family's heart

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

I am now In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

There's a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?

Who is that boy I see
Staring straight,
back at me
Why is my reflection someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
Somehow I cannot hide,
who I am though I've tried
When will my reflection show who I am inside...

Attention...wut a true fren is...

U know im talking bout u...so,plz...i dun feel rite...i may have understand bout myself...but i cant understand u...u're my fren...i care bout u...we were once so close...i know that we cant be like before...u're afraid that if we try to be like before,our frenship will be damage even futher...u know that im hiding something from u...and i know that u're hiding something coz im hiding something...so,for one last time...i need to come clean with u...so that i'll have no more doubts bout u...i need to get something off my chest...it's a weight i've burden for too long...it's a stupid burden...but for sure,i need to know something...we'll have our exam in a week...so i'll wait 4 u until the last day of skool before our 2 weeks vacation...and when im being honest,i need u to do the same...dun be like that someone i'd history with last year and say,"i've got nothing to say"...she was always like that...and i hope u wont be like her...i lost so many...u know i do...u've heard my stories and my history...i dun want to lose anyone i love and care about anymore...i know that u're just being nice to me...u dun want to hurt me more than i can bare...but u still remember wut my ex did to me,dun u? dun lie to protect me...just say it,no matter how painful it is...it's the key to a real frenship...truth,integrity,honesty...as 4 atiqah...the one that heard bad things bout u then suddenly didnt talk to u...that one and probably with his/her gang isnt a true fren...a true fren...a real fren will stick with u no matter wut...they will support u no matter wut...they will find anything u need even if they need to search until the end's of the earth...a true fren dun let his/her fren carry their burden alone...they will share anything with u..sadness,happiness...and they dun just leave u to talk to somebody else...they will always carry u...will always be the light to pull u from the darkest darkness...there's nothing wrong with letting the people love u help u...why must we become such hypocrites? why must we act so tough? i dun like being a hypocrite..it hurts me inside to know that i have to put on a mask just too please everyone...even the one i consider close...so,does that mean...there's no such thing as a 'true fren'? i dun know...im beginning to lose my hope i wont give up yet...some frens like syaheela...i truly appreciate(even if u did once call me annoying but u did say sori)...and there r others...yes...i know this is a cruel world...but it's only a cruel world if u dun have a fren with the above characteristics(well,maybe not all but some is gud enough)...as 4 me...i dun have to be a hypocrite around true frens...but since these few months...i had to hide my heart...coz no one understood me...now,i finally understood myself but things still havent change in skool...well..some have change...some minor ones but the majors..nope...so,atiqah...my advice to u...stick to frens whom will always lend a hand when u need one...like me! haha! i wont leave anyone but why does everyone(not everyone,but some) kept on leaving me? x bersyukur? i dun know...it's just i want to feel like im needed...like im a part of someone...in other words i just want atleast somebody's attention...i've always gave my frens everything they needed...but i've never got anything back in return...not that im asking for it but it's just...u get the picture...im sorry if my words has hurt anyone's feeling...