Sayang dan Benci

Bagaimana cara membuatmu bahagia
Nyaris ku menyerah jalani semua
Telah berbagai kata ku ungkap percuma
Agar kau percaya persahabatanku berharga

Tak kuat ku menahanmu
Mempertahankan perasaanku
Namun kau begitu saja
Tak pernah merindu

Sungguh aku tak bisa
Sampai kapan pun tak bisa
Membenci dirimu
Sesungguhnya aku tak mampu
Sulit untuk ku bisa
Sangat sulit ku tak bisa
Memisahkan segala sayang dan benci yang ku rasa

Apa kau mengerti ku sedih sendiri?
Tanpa ada kamu ku merasa sepi
Telah lama ku menantimu
Diam sendiri menunggu
Setengah hati menyayangi
Ku sakit karenamu...

Secluding...

It's true that I've been keeping my distant with some people...I don't think I can take it anymore...It's true that problems will start to rise once I get close to someone...

That's why I choose to back away...sometimes it is really sad watching myself walking alone to class...it is sad when I watch my class/coursemates walking and laughing together...they needed each other and they spend time with each other...as much as I want to join, I know that I can't...I will create problems they will never even imagine...no one can be patient with me because I can't even be patient with myself...but is this the right way? I never want to cause any more trouble than they can handle...