What Hurts The Most...

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do...

I Had It...

This goes to 'you'....

What happened to you
You've played the victim for so long now in this game
What i thought was true It's made of fiction and i'm following the same

But if I try
To make sense of this mess I'm in
I'm not sure where I should begin
But if I had to say goodbye to leave this hell
I'd say my time has served me well
I'm falling
I'm falling

It's none of my concern
Why look to me because I don't believe in fame
I guess you never heard I've met our makers
They don't even know your name

Now I'm in over my head,
with something i said
Completely misread
, I'm better off dead
And now I can see,
how fake you can be
This hypocracy's beginning to get to me

This came long before those who suffer more
I'm too awake for this to be a nightmare
What's with my disgrace
I lost the human race
No one plans for it to blow up in their face

Who said it was so easy to put back all of these pieces
Over my head, better off dead....

Different?

huh....i just dont get the guys(and girls) at my skool...They r treating me differently from anyone else...why?I ask my so-called bff why she and the others r treating me differently....guess wut she answered........she said that im different...she said that if anyone wants to talk to me they will think twice before saying anything to me...wut do they mean?is it got to do with me being sentimental and stuff?is wrong for me for being sentimental?ive lost so many precious things in the last 4 years..how could i not be so sentimental?they just dont get me...for them,im just a freak....or at least that's what my used-to-be friends called me...i ask sue yin to help me ask my so-called-bff wut does she mean that im different...she said that im "not shy"...wut does she meant?even if im different from them,but from what way?for them,being different is weird...just great...this tuesday i got an intervensi test and i havent studied yet..and just this afternoon,i heard that my crush has a new BF since friday/thursday..great....she only thinks me as her friend...she doesnt have a clue that i like her...i can only support her...she cant love a guy like me...a 'freak' like me...i bet even her new bf is hot...coz her ex is hot...im not....im happy for her,i really do that she has forgotten about her ex,but i feel sad coz she doesnt like me...she will never like a guy like me...coz im different....damn it.....

Why?

I dont get it....wut does friendship means for the people at smkbb?the meaning of friendship for them is different from mine....for me...friends r the one that will guide u through life...best friends r there when u need them and BFFs r the one that will stay with us forever...last year,i met a girl....she was really great...she has taught me alot but in the begining of this year,she's change....i love her like a sister....we were close but she dont want to be so close coz she's afraid that her bf might break up with her..too late...now she doesnt entertain me like last year...i miss the old times...she even said that we're r bffs....only me & her...but now i know the reasons why she doenst entertain me anymore...coz she only entertain boys that have looks,smart,funny and other things...i dont have all of that...i feel sad....i cant do anything...last tuesday,first of April,my other friend had a bday and she was invited.....but my so-called bff didnt invite me...
how could she?i mean,she said that i was her bff rite?why didnt she invite me?she only invite the other guys who have looks...not me...ive tried to forget her since then...but yesterday she suddenly entertain me..i thought she was feeling guilty coz she called me "a dust on the road" if got compared to her ex-bfon wednesday...then,about at 1 pm,she suddenlt cried..i dont want to comfort her coz she hurt my feelings so many times!!!But my heart tells me to go and comfort her...i dont know why i did it...until now..i still hopes she and her gang will understand how i feel...left out by them each and every day....i have high hopes for her someday...that's why i cant just forget about her.....after all of the memories we shared together..i just wish they will understand me.....