ari ni memang bestnyer! kluar ngan kwn2....maaf bnyk2 kpada yg terasa...last minute ajak...x sempat ajak semua...bangun pagi,terlantar kat katil...dikejutkan oleh ayah aku tanya nk bertolak kul brape...memang mls rasa nk bangun sbb baru pukul 9 pagi...jadi aku baring atas katil sambil dengar lagu instrumental Rurouni Kenshin tok tenangkan pkiran...duk terlantar slama 1 jam...dengar lagu slow...tukar ke cd chrono cross lak...then,dh kul 10...berus gigi,manid kemudian mkn...sampai ke mid...but unfortunately,xde sorg pon yg sampai lg...agak boring tunggu lama gle! naim gi hantar makanan ke abg dia yg sedang duduki SPM...syafiq tunggu naim kat lrt...jega bagun lewat! x guna jega! nat,xleh marah coz baru balik dari langkawi...leh fhm situasi dia...jega yg 1st dtg...kte pilih dulu movie yg nk tengok sementara tunggu naim,syafiq dan nat..seperti biasa aku ngan jega gaduh...haha! tapi gaduh nk tengok movie apa...mcm biasa! aku nk tengok planet 51 atau astro boy...nmpk best je...haha...lg2,dua movie tu kul 1.45...aku kena balik awal...jadi,akhirnya pilih christmas carol yg kul 2.30...aku x setuju mula2 coz tentu balik awal dan terpaksa bebankan parents aku...but,ble terpkirkan yg nat lum sampai...terpaksa la...jadi,lepas beli tiket,aku bincang ngan jega nk minta diorg bayar brape sorg..tbe2,akak yg jual tiket tu jwb : RM7...terkejut aku...rupanya akak tu pasang telinga gak! jadi,kte kira2 dan kemudian gi cari tempat nk mkn...jega kata mcd,jadi kte turun...tunggu naim ngan syafiq...kemudian,kte gi tengok domino's nyer menu...pkir yg menu dia agak jimat tok 5 org...then,naim cal kata yg dia dh sampai kat mcd...aku dh la blurr...x nmpk sgt..tengok2 dia main sorok menyorok kat belakang peta mid...aduhai diorg ni...haha! tapi agak gembira tengok diorg...then,kte naik atas coz naim kata baik mkn kat mcd kat gsc...tengok2,nat dh sampai! dan memang x sangka apa yg dia pakai...memang la gembira...haha! sbg kwn,memang patut rasa gembira...then,kte sama2 la mkn kat mcd..syafiq lak duduk sebelah naim...naim duk depan nat..aku teringat yg naim kata klu duk kat depan dia lg romantik...haha! so,aku je la duk sebelah nat...malu,memang la malu coz meja tu kecik and aku x biasa duk rpt ngan pompuan...kwn2 rpt biasala but sbb lama x jumpa nat,malu la gak...biasa la tu bg aku...yg jenis pemalu ni...haha...but,ble dh mkn semua,jadi biasa dan aku mula perli dia mcm2..x bnyk pon...cuma aku ikot naim...haha...then,ble dia tanya aku yg aku suka sgt pakai baju yg aku tengah pakai tu asal? coz dia kata aku pakai baju yg sama ble gi rumah jega...actually,yg gi rumah jega tu,aku pakai jaket hitam la nat!!! ko ni...tadi tu,t shirt je...kte masuk cinema dan jega kata dia nk beli popcorn dan air...dan,suprise2...nmpk izudin ngan afiq tengah kerja kat sana...cayela..memang rajin diorg berdua tu...then,syafiq kata dia nk gi toilet...jadi,dia ngan naim masuk dulu...then,jega lak kata nk gi toilet...sebelum diorg masuk toilet kte jumpa dana tengah kerja juga..haha...aku ngan nat masuk dulu la...dan ini part funny...aku ngan nat nmpk jega,naim dan syafiq masuk...dan disebabkan gelap dirog x nmpk seat mana diorg nk duduk jadi...diorg kluar pintu belakang nk masuk balik pintu at opposite direction...dan tengok2,pintu tu x leh dibuka dari luar! bahahaha! nat tanya,mana diorg hilang..tbe2,jega call,kata pintu x leh buka! memang kelakar!!! jadi,aku ambik diorg dan duduk balik dan skali lg aku terkejut mamat ni x duduk sebelah minah ni...biarla...but,naim dia leh lak duduk tangga! haih...naim2! kte tengok la christmas carol...agak sedih...dan agak menakutkan pada benda yg sama..dan memang kelakar ble watak jim carrey jadi kecil...suara dia pon berubah...nat x abis2 gelak! bahahaha! naim la sindir dia lg...ble dh abis,kte kluar dan terus ke tandas...kemudian syafiq kata dia nk beli barang kat carrefour...kte ikut dia...and tbe2,aku,naim dan nat hilang jega ngan syafiq...kte lepak je la...naim kata nk belanja dorayaki...jadi,dia belikan tok aku dan nat....thx naim! sedap dorayaki tu! then,aku terpaksa balik...aku lari ke jusco...tbe,aku dengar ada org panggil aku...rupanya naim...aku tertinggal dorayaki aku...maaf ye naim buat ko lari...the end...haha...but it was really fun eventhough many cant come...thx 4 coming guys...but i cant forget the scene at gsc...hope can make this feeling last...towards her...haha! we'll c how it goes...
To Be Continued.... :P
Silent wanderer...
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Find Yourself
Thats when you find yourself
When you find yourself
In some far off place,
And it causes you
To rethink some things.
You start to sense
That slowly you're becoming someone else
And then you find yourself.
When you make new friends
In a brand new town,
And you start to think
About settling down,
The things that would have been lost on you
Are now clear as a bell.
And you find yourself
That's when you find yourself.
Well you go through life
So sure of where you're heading,
And you wind up lost
And it's the best thing that could've happen.
'Cause sometimes when you lose your way
It's really just as well.
'Cause you find yourself
Thats when you find yourself.
When you meet the one
That you've been waiting for,
And she's everything
That you want and more,
You look at her
And you finally start
To live for someone else.
Thats when you find yourself
The lyrics to the song Find Yourself really reminded me of a fren of mine...so,i dedicate the song to her..haha...anyway,the post earlier i posted this evening was meant to iman...i mean,i made 4 iman...it really is sad...i know it's hard bro,but u've got to be strong...i've given all that i have...now,it's all up to u...this i one of the reasons why i hate most girls...giving false hopes....wut do u think 'we' r? not all male r strong...some just act strong coz of their egos...it is important to act strong but it does need to be control...back to the point,like me,iman too have a fragile heart...he has a big heart...love is blind and so is that girl and most girls...oh,plz...from wut i've seen,they all just want good looking man...rite iman? hmph! not many looks on the inside anymore...i want iman to never give up and keep his heart soft and kind-hearted...unlike me who has been torment by this girl...my heart is cold and dark...and maybe this is the best way...i hate most girls of course...probably the ones that's close...or far...no one knows...haha! why? well,nobody needs to know that...wut im so frustrated is that girl that has crushed my comrade's heart...how could anyone gives false hopes just like that? i mean,if u dun like the guy,just say it...how can she just drag him like that? i mean like saying he has a chance but from the start she already has another guy...i mean,plz...how can she treat him like she likes him eventhough she already has a boyfren? just treat him as a fren...was that so hard? if she could have done that,then he wouldnt be in so much pain...if she thinks him as a lil brother or as a best fren,then it's fine...but she only consider him as a normal fren...damn it...i dun know...just seeing him in pain reminded me when i was in pain and struggling...probably still is....the main point is,if u dun like that someone just treat that someone as a fren...dun go and flirt with the guy and pretend,"hey,im just being nice...dun blame me he thought otherwise"....seriously,i hate those kind of people...but...i can only hope the best for him...for iman...as 4 me,im still struggling with my old crush...well,i cant really say the new one is crush...im only attracted to her...how she smiles...and how she laughs...haha...and somehow she overwrites most of my dark feelings towards my old crush...i dun want to say i love them both...coz that will just sounds like im a player or some sort...attracted and crushing r 2 diff things! probably she'll help me find myself? haha...dun know...we'll just c in a few weeks maybe? :)
When you find yourself
In some far off place,
And it causes you
To rethink some things.
You start to sense
That slowly you're becoming someone else
And then you find yourself.
When you make new friends
In a brand new town,
And you start to think
About settling down,
The things that would have been lost on you
Are now clear as a bell.
And you find yourself
That's when you find yourself.
Well you go through life
So sure of where you're heading,
And you wind up lost
And it's the best thing that could've happen.
'Cause sometimes when you lose your way
It's really just as well.
'Cause you find yourself
Thats when you find yourself.
When you meet the one
That you've been waiting for,
And she's everything
That you want and more,
You look at her
And you finally start
To live for someone else.
Thats when you find yourself
The lyrics to the song Find Yourself really reminded me of a fren of mine...so,i dedicate the song to her..haha...anyway,the post earlier i posted this evening was meant to iman...i mean,i made 4 iman...it really is sad...i know it's hard bro,but u've got to be strong...i've given all that i have...now,it's all up to u...this i one of the reasons why i hate most girls...giving false hopes....wut do u think 'we' r? not all male r strong...some just act strong coz of their egos...it is important to act strong but it does need to be control...back to the point,like me,iman too have a fragile heart...he has a big heart...love is blind and so is that girl and most girls...oh,plz...from wut i've seen,they all just want good looking man...rite iman? hmph! not many looks on the inside anymore...i want iman to never give up and keep his heart soft and kind-hearted...unlike me who has been torment by this girl...my heart is cold and dark...and maybe this is the best way...i hate most girls of course...probably the ones that's close...or far...no one knows...haha! why? well,nobody needs to know that...wut im so frustrated is that girl that has crushed my comrade's heart...how could anyone gives false hopes just like that? i mean,if u dun like the guy,just say it...how can she just drag him like that? i mean like saying he has a chance but from the start she already has another guy...i mean,plz...how can she treat him like she likes him eventhough she already has a boyfren? just treat him as a fren...was that so hard? if she could have done that,then he wouldnt be in so much pain...if she thinks him as a lil brother or as a best fren,then it's fine...but she only consider him as a normal fren...damn it...i dun know...just seeing him in pain reminded me when i was in pain and struggling...probably still is....the main point is,if u dun like that someone just treat that someone as a fren...dun go and flirt with the guy and pretend,"hey,im just being nice...dun blame me he thought otherwise"....seriously,i hate those kind of people...but...i can only hope the best for him...for iman...as 4 me,im still struggling with my old crush...well,i cant really say the new one is crush...im only attracted to her...how she smiles...and how she laughs...haha...and somehow she overwrites most of my dark feelings towards my old crush...i dun want to say i love them both...coz that will just sounds like im a player or some sort...attracted and crushing r 2 diff things! probably she'll help me find myself? haha...dun know...we'll just c in a few weeks maybe? :)
The Game Is over
Invincible
Is what you think you are
But you're just so typical
Though you think that you're a star
You act like
Everyone revolves around you
Baby you dropped the ball
And now the game is through
'Cause you tried to play both sides
You got caught up in your lies
And now you're running
You're running out of time
Take it personal
'Cause I did
When you cheated on me
You may be beautiful
But there's more
That the eye can see
You're so predictable
The way you calculate each move
Heads I win
Tails you lose
Because you don't have
The right to choose
How could you think that
You could do me like that?
Running behind my back
How could you do me like that?
Now the game is over,
How could you think that you could do me like that?
And now you want me back
How could you do me like that?
Now the game is over,
You played yourself
But did you, did you think
That you could really find love from someone else
You're making moves,
You're gonna lose, you know
You played yourself
And now you're thinkin', thinkin' you can get one by me
But you'll never win, but you'll never win
Try again,
'cause the game is over...
Is what you think you are
But you're just so typical
Though you think that you're a star
You act like
Everyone revolves around you
Baby you dropped the ball
And now the game is through
'Cause you tried to play both sides
You got caught up in your lies
And now you're running
You're running out of time
Take it personal
'Cause I did
When you cheated on me
You may be beautiful
But there's more
That the eye can see
You're so predictable
The way you calculate each move
Heads I win
Tails you lose
Because you don't have
The right to choose
How could you think that
You could do me like that?
Running behind my back
How could you do me like that?
Now the game is over,
How could you think that you could do me like that?
And now you want me back
How could you do me like that?
Now the game is over,
You played yourself
But did you, did you think
That you could really find love from someone else
You're making moves,
You're gonna lose, you know
You played yourself
And now you're thinkin', thinkin' you can get one by me
But you'll never win, but you'll never win
Try again,
'cause the game is over...
Friday, November 20, 2009
Natasha's 16th Birthday! / I can wait forever...
You look so beautiful today
When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away
So i try to find the words that i could say
I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away
You look so beautiful today
It's like every time I turn around I see your face
The thing I miss the most is waking up to see you
When I look into your eyes, I wish that I could stay
And I cant lie
Every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face
Cause I just cant take it
I know it feels like forever
I guess that's just the price I gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch
Makes it better
Till that day
Theres nothing else that I can do
And I just cant take it
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait
I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever...
The words above has nothing to do with this post..well,i just feel like posting it...haha...coz,i feel like falling 4 this someone...not anybody who reads this knows... :P
Before i start,isnt it funny if ur frens like in a love 'square'..i mean they always say love triangle rite? but that only involves 3 people? wut if there is 4? i mean,1 girl likes this one boy,and this one boy likes one other girl and one other boy likes the same girl as the boy i mentioned 1st and the girl that this 2 boys like kinda attracted to the 2nd guy i mentioned...fuh..weird huh? but this is only my theory...nothing much...alrite,the real reason i wrote this post...NATASHA'S 16 BIRTHDAY!!! wow...i cant believe how hard the finals were...but,wut's done is done...when the friday prayers finished,me and syafiq went to BV to clean up while waiting 4 Wafa and Nat...when we met them,we were off to piza hut...oh,azrul and khai was also there...when we arrived at piza hut,we met up with sham and nurin...oh,and how shocking(but not so)i saw HARI!!! wearing his 'cassanova' shirt(again)...with being the only boy in the table(again)..hahah! hari2! keluar dating x ajak! anyway,we did planned a suprise but Nat already knew so,wafa just present the cake and nat 4 being the SPECIAL guess cut the cake..wafa asked her to 'suap' everyone there...i was the last as i remember...haha...typical,i am the most shy one...then,we got the chance to 'suap' her back...again,i was the last...i thought i wouldnt get the chance till nat offered...so,i did as she asked...it is her special day...naim,as usual sit in front of her...and how funny when we were getting ready to go home...
hahaha!
then,before they went back...suprise,suprise...my parents were at piza hut...nat asked was that my parents...i said yes and she and wafa went inside to introduce themselves...naim followed behind...my father know bout nat coz i spoken bout her before...and he knows that im going to her party...my mother didnt know anyone of them...so,i introduce them and naim...haha! nak salam tu,buka la topi dulu! i really like when my parents knows who my frens are..especially the ones i close to...so,im quite happy that my parents finally met naim,nat and wafa...the others was too shy to introduce themselves....well,i dun blame them...my father said u guys were gud people...and,he's rite...it was a fun time...and the most important thing,we did the best we could to make nat feel special...hoped we did...nat! harap ko suka hadiah tu! and HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!! and hoped u had a fun time!
hyperactive comrade! hahahaa!
School finally ends! Oh,how long was it? haha...a year perhaps...HAPPY HOLIDAYS 2 ALL!!! C u guys next year! 2010! oh,and sham,ble nk tengok New moon,aku nk ikot! jgn lupa ajak! haha!
When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away
So i try to find the words that i could say
I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away
You look so beautiful today
It's like every time I turn around I see your face
The thing I miss the most is waking up to see you
When I look into your eyes, I wish that I could stay
And I cant lie
Every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face
Cause I just cant take it
I know it feels like forever
I guess that's just the price I gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch
Makes it better
Till that day
Theres nothing else that I can do
And I just cant take it
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait
I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever...
The words above has nothing to do with this post..well,i just feel like posting it...haha...coz,i feel like falling 4 this someone...not anybody who reads this knows... :P
Before i start,isnt it funny if ur frens like in a love 'square'..i mean they always say love triangle rite? but that only involves 3 people? wut if there is 4? i mean,1 girl likes this one boy,and this one boy likes one other girl and one other boy likes the same girl as the boy i mentioned 1st and the girl that this 2 boys like kinda attracted to the 2nd guy i mentioned...fuh..weird huh? but this is only my theory...nothing much...alrite,the real reason i wrote this post...NATASHA'S 16 BIRTHDAY!!! wow...i cant believe how hard the finals were...but,wut's done is done...when the friday prayers finished,me and syafiq went to BV to clean up while waiting 4 Wafa and Nat...when we met them,we were off to piza hut...oh,azrul and khai was also there...when we arrived at piza hut,we met up with sham and nurin...oh,and how shocking(but not so)i saw HARI!!! wearing his 'cassanova' shirt(again)...with being the only boy in the table(again)..hahah! hari2! keluar dating x ajak! anyway,we did planned a suprise but Nat already knew so,wafa just present the cake and nat 4 being the SPECIAL guess cut the cake..wafa asked her to 'suap' everyone there...i was the last as i remember...haha...typical,i am the most shy one...then,we got the chance to 'suap' her back...again,i was the last...i thought i wouldnt get the chance till nat offered...so,i did as she asked...it is her special day...naim,as usual sit in front of her...and how funny when we were getting ready to go home...
hahaha!
then,before they went back...suprise,suprise...my parents were at piza hut...nat asked was that my parents...i said yes and she and wafa went inside to introduce themselves...naim followed behind...my father know bout nat coz i spoken bout her before...and he knows that im going to her party...my mother didnt know anyone of them...so,i introduce them and naim...haha! nak salam tu,buka la topi dulu! i really like when my parents knows who my frens are..especially the ones i close to...so,im quite happy that my parents finally met naim,nat and wafa...the others was too shy to introduce themselves....well,i dun blame them...my father said u guys were gud people...and,he's rite...it was a fun time...and the most important thing,we did the best we could to make nat feel special...hoped we did...nat! harap ko suka hadiah tu! and HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!! and hoped u had a fun time!
hyperactive comrade! hahahaa!
School finally ends! Oh,how long was it? haha...a year perhaps...HAPPY HOLIDAYS 2 ALL!!! C u guys next year! 2010! oh,and sham,ble nk tengok New moon,aku nk ikot! jgn lupa ajak! haha!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
*She's got a boyfriend / Changes
We were seventeen and invincible
Had the world figured out
And the girl on my shoulder told me,
"Everything's gon' be alright
And everything was gonna be alright "
Yea maybe we were in high school
But you never see the ending
When you're young and love pretending singin',
"Everything's gon' be alright
And everything was gonna be alright"
Buried her deepest side
Stars don't clear my eyes
Now she's got a boyfriend
And I've got a rock band
There's nothing really happy
'Cause the way you spent
Yea she's in Ohio
And I'm on tobacco
Coming to this city and then who knows
'Cause that's all she wrote
I wish that I could turn this car around
But she's got a boyfriend now
And I took a trip out to L.A.
For the girl with a smile
That could take your breathe away I'm thinkin',
"Everything's gon' be alright
And everything was gonna be alright "
Maybe I thought I could sweep it
And sweep her off her feet
And go right back to Boston thinkin',
"Everything's gon' be alright
And everything was gonna be alright"
The streets keep holding on
But now she's so far gone
Take it back to you
So now that everything i dont know is so hard
It tore us apart,
Take me back to feeling that the world would
just be dealing me the right cards
And now your just so far
Twenty-three and invincible
Got the world figured out
And the bird on my shoulder told me,
"Everything's gon' be alright
and that means everything gon' be alright"
Hah..there's a song that adam gave me...she's got a boyfriend now by boys like girls...well,i cant say i dun like this particular girl but i cant say i like her either...so complicated...hate to love..love to hate...isnt it confusing? haha...but still,i care 4 her...just like wafa care 4 this particular boy...but anyway...i cant do anything much...im not like any other guy...4 me,it's just so hard...coz,in my past years no girl has ever accept me...but,i cant blame them...but i dun want to think much bout this...i try 2 moved on to another girl that i mentioned in my ealier post...but,it's hard...but,we'll just c in a few weeks....im not a player if anybody thinks that...im not the type of guy who's like,"oh,that girl is pretty,i want to know her.." or "that girl is worthless,she's nothing but trash"...im not some kind of guy who chases girls...and i dun expect girls to chase me...when the feeling is there,when the time is rite...confidence is an important thing...but,u have 2 learn to control it and never lose sight of urself...and be over-confident...that will result in ego-ness...im not the one to judge but i saw many people being overly-confident..and that just make things worse coz that will also result in hating of others...yeah2...we shouldnt care bout wut other people think as long as we r happy...but wut good is it if it only lead us to a 'darker' road? like,changing from a modest guy to metroseksual guy? or from a silent dude to a smoker? or from a low-confident guy to a over-confident guy? yes,changes r good...but we also need to choose or make a decision bout the choice that we make that will determine who we will become carefully...many of my frens have change...some change 4 the better..while some do not...but still,if they know wut they did is wrong,they know they can come to me...like arif did...but that was months ago...i dun know wut happened to him though...haha..coz,some people change bcoz they have to..in other words,they change coz they dun want to continue living in the life they r currently leading...either in pain or sadness...probably that's wut trigger some people to change..they know that they need to make a decision to get rid of their suffering so they chose to change...some did find the answer...while some do not...the ones who did not most probably end up in a 'darker' road such as myself...but im not entirely 'dark'...just how i feel...some people dun have the luxury of their frens correcting their mistakes...to take an example,like gaara from naruto....everyone hated him..even his family doesnt treat him rite and his own father wanted to kill him...so he decided that he is alone and his only purpose of living is to kill everyone who stands in his way...he lived by himself and with no one else to help me...until naruto came and change him 2 the better...naruto was like gaara at 1st...but naruto had a few people came...that doesnt care bout the 'demon' inside of him and accepted him for who he is...and that change naruto's anger and hatred towards his people to happiness and joy and the spirit 2 live for others and 2 love others...he lives for his frens...he lives by the love that his frens gave to him...to get to the point,when somebody decides to change it better to think twice coz the 'change' might upset the people that care about that person...as 4 me,i have change and i still dun know if it's 4 the better or worse...by my frens's eyes...it is 4 the better...but 4 me,why do i still feel so much pain? i wonder...am i being a hypocrite to myself? am i lying to myself? wut i know,i dun want my frens to get fed up with me any longer...that will just upset me more...my closest frens should have realize by now that i dun share any of my problems anymore...but i dun blame them...even i am sicked of myself with this never ending problems...but,like nat always said,"sbr2...ini lah hidup"...and i did...so far...4 probably bout 2 months...im still stable...probably bcoz of her...but hey,i hope im going to the rite road...and somehow,i gain a little bit of strength from jega,shafeeq,sham,nat,mel and syairah...probably there r others...haha...but,jega and sham...thx 4 keeping me happy...mamak,nat,syairah and mel,thx 4 the support...u guys kept me from changing to a 'darker' person...and evethough i have my own problems,i can help others coz,that's wut frens do rite? support each other till the end...so that we can accomplish something bigger 2gether...oh,bout 2day...i went to jega's open house and it was,well unexpected...but it was a nice house...when i arrived,nat,sham and farah was already there...oh,and how shy i can be? haha...sori nat sbb buat ko tunggu! but aku ckp gak apa yg ko nk tahu kan? btw,ko nmpk 'cantik' sgt! hahahahaha! masa ko duduk kat luar tu,aku ikot ko kan? mcm dating la lak! haha...but kte ckp je...bukan dating pon..but,kwn2 kte yg lain pkir cmtu! siap ambik gmbr lak tu! adeh! JEGA! SHAM! AMU! ADIK! but it was fun...haha!
Had the world figured out
And the girl on my shoulder told me,
"Everything's gon' be alright
And everything was gonna be alright "
Yea maybe we were in high school
But you never see the ending
When you're young and love pretending singin',
"Everything's gon' be alright
And everything was gonna be alright"
Buried her deepest side
Stars don't clear my eyes
Now she's got a boyfriend
And I've got a rock band
There's nothing really happy
'Cause the way you spent
Yea she's in Ohio
And I'm on tobacco
Coming to this city and then who knows
'Cause that's all she wrote
I wish that I could turn this car around
But she's got a boyfriend now
And I took a trip out to L.A.
For the girl with a smile
That could take your breathe away I'm thinkin',
"Everything's gon' be alright
And everything was gonna be alright "
Maybe I thought I could sweep it
And sweep her off her feet
And go right back to Boston thinkin',
"Everything's gon' be alright
And everything was gonna be alright"
The streets keep holding on
But now she's so far gone
Take it back to you
So now that everything i dont know is so hard
It tore us apart,
Take me back to feeling that the world would
just be dealing me the right cards
And now your just so far
Twenty-three and invincible
Got the world figured out
And the bird on my shoulder told me,
"Everything's gon' be alright
and that means everything gon' be alright"
Hah..there's a song that adam gave me...she's got a boyfriend now by boys like girls...well,i cant say i dun like this particular girl but i cant say i like her either...so complicated...hate to love..love to hate...isnt it confusing? haha...but still,i care 4 her...just like wafa care 4 this particular boy...but anyway...i cant do anything much...im not like any other guy...4 me,it's just so hard...coz,in my past years no girl has ever accept me...but,i cant blame them...but i dun want to think much bout this...i try 2 moved on to another girl that i mentioned in my ealier post...but,it's hard...but,we'll just c in a few weeks....im not a player if anybody thinks that...im not the type of guy who's like,"oh,that girl is pretty,i want to know her.." or "that girl is worthless,she's nothing but trash"...im not some kind of guy who chases girls...and i dun expect girls to chase me...when the feeling is there,when the time is rite...confidence is an important thing...but,u have 2 learn to control it and never lose sight of urself...and be over-confident...that will result in ego-ness...im not the one to judge but i saw many people being overly-confident..and that just make things worse coz that will also result in hating of others...yeah2...we shouldnt care bout wut other people think as long as we r happy...but wut good is it if it only lead us to a 'darker' road? like,changing from a modest guy to metroseksual guy? or from a silent dude to a smoker? or from a low-confident guy to a over-confident guy? yes,changes r good...but we also need to choose or make a decision bout the choice that we make that will determine who we will become carefully...many of my frens have change...some change 4 the better..while some do not...but still,if they know wut they did is wrong,they know they can come to me...like arif did...but that was months ago...i dun know wut happened to him though...haha..coz,some people change bcoz they have to..in other words,they change coz they dun want to continue living in the life they r currently leading...either in pain or sadness...probably that's wut trigger some people to change..they know that they need to make a decision to get rid of their suffering so they chose to change...some did find the answer...while some do not...the ones who did not most probably end up in a 'darker' road such as myself...but im not entirely 'dark'...just how i feel...some people dun have the luxury of their frens correcting their mistakes...to take an example,like gaara from naruto....everyone hated him..even his family doesnt treat him rite and his own father wanted to kill him...so he decided that he is alone and his only purpose of living is to kill everyone who stands in his way...he lived by himself and with no one else to help me...until naruto came and change him 2 the better...naruto was like gaara at 1st...but naruto had a few people came...that doesnt care bout the 'demon' inside of him and accepted him for who he is...and that change naruto's anger and hatred towards his people to happiness and joy and the spirit 2 live for others and 2 love others...he lives for his frens...he lives by the love that his frens gave to him...to get to the point,when somebody decides to change it better to think twice coz the 'change' might upset the people that care about that person...as 4 me,i have change and i still dun know if it's 4 the better or worse...by my frens's eyes...it is 4 the better...but 4 me,why do i still feel so much pain? i wonder...am i being a hypocrite to myself? am i lying to myself? wut i know,i dun want my frens to get fed up with me any longer...that will just upset me more...my closest frens should have realize by now that i dun share any of my problems anymore...but i dun blame them...even i am sicked of myself with this never ending problems...but,like nat always said,"sbr2...ini lah hidup"...and i did...so far...4 probably bout 2 months...im still stable...probably bcoz of her...but hey,i hope im going to the rite road...and somehow,i gain a little bit of strength from jega,shafeeq,sham,nat,mel and syairah...probably there r others...haha...but,jega and sham...thx 4 keeping me happy...mamak,nat,syairah and mel,thx 4 the support...u guys kept me from changing to a 'darker' person...and evethough i have my own problems,i can help others coz,that's wut frens do rite? support each other till the end...so that we can accomplish something bigger 2gether...oh,bout 2day...i went to jega's open house and it was,well unexpected...but it was a nice house...when i arrived,nat,sham and farah was already there...oh,and how shy i can be? haha...sori nat sbb buat ko tunggu! but aku ckp gak apa yg ko nk tahu kan? btw,ko nmpk 'cantik' sgt! hahahahaha! masa ko duduk kat luar tu,aku ikot ko kan? mcm dating la lak! haha...but kte ckp je...bukan dating pon..but,kwn2 kte yg lain pkir cmtu! siap ambik gmbr lak tu! adeh! JEGA! SHAM! AMU! ADIK! but it was fun...haha!
Friday, November 13, 2009
*Fly With Me
Hah...my problems arent solve yet but still....since this few months,i felt like i wont get the answer till im old enough...coz,i kept on searching and searching but the answer doesnt seem to pop up...probably it's already in front of me and im just to blurr 2 c it...but,i'll wait...i keep saying to myself lately that i cant trust 'some' kind of people...and i never want to fall in love with that kind ever again...i dun think i can even trust them anymore...i keep saying that coz i dun want 2 get hurt again...but,i never thought...that i'll be trusting those kind again...but,i'll start slowly...coz i think i've found a new one...just a small crush..nothing big...but she is kinda cute...and the most important thing,she's sincere and help me a lot in this a few weeks...especially when i had 'internal fights'...it's not Melissa(if anybody thinks that)...but i do like melissa..like a sister of course..rite my knucklehead sis? hahaha! oh,and thx 4 the 'msg' u wrote in my phone...there is a light even in the darkest darkness...and that is,my comrades...i think i can trust those kind again...but,this time i'll take it slowly...well,i dun know why...but,i cant seem to 4get those eyes...haha...i guess,u'll be in my top list like my other comrades are...haha...the song in my blog is 4 my comrades...if u think u r,hear it...come and 'fly with me' guys...
If time were still
The sun would never never find us
We could light up
The sky, tonight
I would see the world through your eyes
And leave it all behind
Now the past
Has come alive
And gave it meaning
And a reason
To give all I can
To believe once again
Maybe you were just afraid
Knowing you were miles away
From a place where you needed to be
And you are right here with me
It's you and me forever
If it's You and me right now
That'd be alright
If we chase the stars to lose our shadow
Peter Pan and Wendy turned out fine
So won't you fly with me
If time were still
The sun would never never find us
We could light up
The sky, tonight
I would see the world through your eyes
And leave it all behind
Now the past
Has come alive
And gave it meaning
And a reason
To give all I can
To believe once again
Maybe you were just afraid
Knowing you were miles away
From a place where you needed to be
And you are right here with me
It's you and me forever
If it's You and me right now
That'd be alright
If we chase the stars to lose our shadow
Peter Pan and Wendy turned out fine
So won't you fly with me
Monday, November 9, 2009
*Choices...
Nat! Ingat lg x ko buat oral tentang tajuk ni? hahah! well,aku buat lain sket...a few days ago,i watched spiderman 3...at the end of the story,spidey's best fren died while trying to save him...at 1st,Harry(spidey's/peter's best fren) hated peter for killing his dad...but finally,Harry realize that his dad died bcoz of his own actions...it has nothing to do with peter...when he finally realize that,he chose to help Peter save their best fren or Peter's lover Mary Jane...2gether they fought with two villains...one of the villains,Venom tried to kill Peter with Harry's glider whcih has a hook or something...but Harry got in the way and save his buddy..Harry died in Peter's place...finally,the 2 villains was defeated..but at a cost of a life...at Harry's cemetery,Peter said,"no matter wut comes to us or battles raging inside of us,we always have a choice..my fren harry taught me that..he chose to be the best that he can.." i cant remember the rest but if i do,i put in my next post..the thing is,instead of keeping revenge against Peter,Harry decided to help his old comrade...he chose wut he think was rite...and that made a huge sacrifice..in the story,Peter to had to chose between rite from wrong...either have the power but lose urself or be urself and win with the strength of his heart...at 1st,he did want the power coz it brings him more strength than ever before and he feels great with the power...but soon he realize that with the power,he became diff...but at the 1st place,he wore the sut coz he was hurted and just want to get away from everything...doesnt want to care bout everything...dun want to worry bout a single thing and just be confident...but with the power of the Venom,he lose himself coz when he didnt care bout a single thing,he hurted the one he cared the most,his best fren and MJ...he realize soon after that he cant continue having the power and not care bout a single thing...he was a suprehero after all...he needs to care bout the well-being of his people..so,he rip of the sut from his body that have become so attached to him like a symbiote...he sacriced the power and the "over-confidence" to become his former self and rescue his people...in other words,he did the rite choice...just like Nat! haha...something happen to u 2day...and i hoped that u're ok...from the sound of ur voice,u seem ok...probably u're just being strong like u've always trying to tell me to do rite? haha...u've always smiling and i wonder how u could do that...u said that even sometimes u get sad 2...but u make a choice not to be and moved on...the thing is,with every choice u make it didnt seem 2 affect ur personaliti...i mean,u havent change...mayb u did change a little or mayb it's just my thoughts talking coz im geting closer to u...wutever it is,the choices that u make,it didnt bother u so much not like many people i've seen...even me...oh,and thx syairah 4 the advice...it means alot...i'll make it up to u...i hope i make the rite choice...and try 2 find another girl...and thx shafeeqdeen 4 being there 4 me last week...and mel too...i never thought u,nur syairah norayeen can give such advice..i mean,from f1,u were always the harsh type...haha...but thx...ko memang 'BAIK'...fhm2 la! muahahaha!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Just so you know..
My final and last post dedicated to u...goodbye...
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Shamshiasharlina
dh 3 minggu baru aku nk bls post ko tu...sori...bz ngan beberapa benda lain...
1.(aku ikut cara ko la...senang sket...)aku minta maaf slama ni aku asyik x abis2 sakitkan hati ko dari awal tahun...aku x leh kata aku x sengaja but aku x sedar...itu je...minta maaf...
2.yes....kte memang rpt dulu...i miss those times so much...yes,i agree...aku memang bodo sbb expect bnyk sngt dari ko...ko bukan tuhan...ko hanya manusia...ko xde jwpn yg aku perlukan...
3.ko pernah tanya aku "aku dh jahat ke?"...cmtu ke ko tanya? haha..aku x ingat...but something like that kan? no comment...u have to figure that out urself...coz i accept u 4 who u r inside...
4.hah! ko kata aku kutuk ko? ble bulan puasa? i dun think so...yes,aku mengaku...aku memang panas gle ble ko marah aku x semene-mene...but,aku x bls balik coz aku tahu ko marah2,aku yg mulakan rage ko tu...aku mcm budak kecik laki yg bodo...but,aku xde kutuk2 ko sampai mcm benci...aku confess,aku ada complain kat some people yg aku trust yg ko marah2 kat aku...i know,i shouldnt have done that...but,aku hanya complain...aku xde kutuk gle2...but,hey...ko pon bnyk kali kutuk2 aku...no offence...
5.oh and im sorry too 4 not being a fren earlier for when i should have been...i dun know if u even care but im sorry i couldnt please u...i tried so hard doing that till i lost my mind...
6.yes! sejak kebelakangan ni,ko memang dh berubah...u seem happy...so,who am i to take it all away? wut ever makes u happy,than im happy...coz that's wut frens do...support each other...
7.oh,ko tumbuk? sometimes sakit...tapi xpela...nasib baik ko kecik!
8.yes...im sorry to coz i cant be someone that u can open up to...i have 2 agree...i cant open up to u either...we did hurt each other so much...the fight did leave a scar...but,wut's done is done...
9.yes..dulu memang aku buat ko mcm milik aku...dulu,i dun get it why u're so mad...aku cuma ambil berat je....but,i understand...that's why i withdrew myself...i did find a way to care from a distant...but,that was then...aku memang laki...cuma aku lembut kan? panggil la pe ko nak..pondan...mcm pompuan...aku x kisah....bnyk org x fhm...kalau ambik sket masa tok kenal aku dlm2 pon susah ke? aku lembut...fine...i confess...but that doesnt mean im a coward...i know when it is neccesary to be tough and to be soft...(ni bukan tok ko sham...tok org lain yg x fhm)
10.dari awal kte kwn lg ko dh tahu tu? yg kte akan gaduh,jadi x rpt semua ni? i appreciate that u were always there 4 me..last year..literally...but answer me this...did u do all that,just bcoz u want to help or u have to help? and the dream? i dun remember...biasa la...org tua...haha...probably it did means that i dun need u in the future...but,mayb it have a diff meaning....but i dun care...even if it has come true...wut can i do? u have ur own way...ur own road...i dun want to be the 'bumb' in ur road....im just saying,u wont need me either...rite?
11.sori kalau ada terkasar bahasa dlm post ni...apa2 pon...thx 4 sharing those precious memories with me...i'll never forget them...well,most of wut i want to say is already written in the bday card i gave u...so,understand it well...
Finally,hope u can live on with ur life knowing that i'll never disturb u ever again...live ur own life...forge ur own destiny...but my doors r always open to u if u ever need help...u made me the boy i've become...harap ko bahagia...ngan ANAM! hahaha! thx 4 everything that u did...
*luv u sis...forever & always...
1.(aku ikut cara ko la...senang sket...)aku minta maaf slama ni aku asyik x abis2 sakitkan hati ko dari awal tahun...aku x leh kata aku x sengaja but aku x sedar...itu je...minta maaf...
2.yes....kte memang rpt dulu...i miss those times so much...yes,i agree...aku memang bodo sbb expect bnyk sngt dari ko...ko bukan tuhan...ko hanya manusia...ko xde jwpn yg aku perlukan...
3.ko pernah tanya aku "aku dh jahat ke?"...cmtu ke ko tanya? haha..aku x ingat...but something like that kan? no comment...u have to figure that out urself...coz i accept u 4 who u r inside...
4.hah! ko kata aku kutuk ko? ble bulan puasa? i dun think so...yes,aku mengaku...aku memang panas gle ble ko marah aku x semene-mene...but,aku x bls balik coz aku tahu ko marah2,aku yg mulakan rage ko tu...aku mcm budak kecik laki yg bodo...but,aku xde kutuk2 ko sampai mcm benci...aku confess,aku ada complain kat some people yg aku trust yg ko marah2 kat aku...i know,i shouldnt have done that...but,aku hanya complain...aku xde kutuk gle2...but,hey...ko pon bnyk kali kutuk2 aku...no offence...
5.oh and im sorry too 4 not being a fren earlier for when i should have been...i dun know if u even care but im sorry i couldnt please u...i tried so hard doing that till i lost my mind...
6.yes! sejak kebelakangan ni,ko memang dh berubah...u seem happy...so,who am i to take it all away? wut ever makes u happy,than im happy...coz that's wut frens do...support each other...
7.oh,ko tumbuk? sometimes sakit...tapi xpela...nasib baik ko kecik!
8.yes...im sorry to coz i cant be someone that u can open up to...i have 2 agree...i cant open up to u either...we did hurt each other so much...the fight did leave a scar...but,wut's done is done...
9.yes..dulu memang aku buat ko mcm milik aku...dulu,i dun get it why u're so mad...aku cuma ambil berat je....but,i understand...that's why i withdrew myself...i did find a way to care from a distant...but,that was then...aku memang laki...cuma aku lembut kan? panggil la pe ko nak..pondan...mcm pompuan...aku x kisah....bnyk org x fhm...kalau ambik sket masa tok kenal aku dlm2 pon susah ke? aku lembut...fine...i confess...but that doesnt mean im a coward...i know when it is neccesary to be tough and to be soft...(ni bukan tok ko sham...tok org lain yg x fhm)
10.dari awal kte kwn lg ko dh tahu tu? yg kte akan gaduh,jadi x rpt semua ni? i appreciate that u were always there 4 me..last year..literally...but answer me this...did u do all that,just bcoz u want to help or u have to help? and the dream? i dun remember...biasa la...org tua...haha...probably it did means that i dun need u in the future...but,mayb it have a diff meaning....but i dun care...even if it has come true...wut can i do? u have ur own way...ur own road...i dun want to be the 'bumb' in ur road....im just saying,u wont need me either...rite?
11.sori kalau ada terkasar bahasa dlm post ni...apa2 pon...thx 4 sharing those precious memories with me...i'll never forget them...well,most of wut i want to say is already written in the bday card i gave u...so,understand it well...
Finally,hope u can live on with ur life knowing that i'll never disturb u ever again...live ur own life...forge ur own destiny...but my doors r always open to u if u ever need help...u made me the boy i've become...harap ko bahagia...ngan ANAM! hahaha! thx 4 everything that u did...
*luv u sis...forever & always...
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
*Sakura's confession...
A new chap of Naruto came out last week...and somehow it really struck me...it's title is Sakura's confession...it's like this...naruto has been crushing on sakura since there were kids...but,as like any other love stories,the girl which the hero likes fall to either his best fren or some other guy...so,naruto has this guy which he has been fighting among his childhood years...but they had fight and since that fight,they've change...and sakura has been crushing at sasuke for many years...even when naruto and sasuke had their clash,naruto promise to bring sasuke back....not sure if it's 4 him or sakura...naruto said he had never had a bond like he had with sasuke...he treasured it so much...so,in sakura's confession,sakura told naruto that she loves him...naruto was happy at 1st,but he knew that she was lying..he remembered how she used to cry when sasuke ran...he remembered how she used to asked if sasuke liked her...so,naruto pushed her when she told him that she realized how 'dumb' she were to fall 4 a criminal like sasuke and said,he hates people who lie to themselves....sakura only told naruto that so naruto would stop searching 4 sasuke coz...one of his frens told her that he can felt naruto's anger when it comes to sasuke...in other words,jealousy perhaps? probably,even naruto is confused...bout saving his fren and bout his love triangle...sasuke once said to naruto,"how could u possibly understand how i feel? I suffered bcoz i had those bonds...u dun know wut it's like to lose them..." kinda sad really....since suresh tag me as sasuke in his pic,i begun seeing myself as him..i dun know...many people say,"hey sasuke is stupid/he's a fool"...but,he just did wut he did coz he suffered so much pain...can anyone understand how that feels? not many i guess...back to the story,sakura is kinda stupid 4 telling naruto a lie that she loves him...that's just like playing with his heart...like any other guy,naruto want his love to be return sincerely...not by a lie...
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