sick with u...

It's more than a habit
I'm more than an addict
I'm parked here outside of your door
Know you never lock it
Got your keys in my pocket
Lights all out
But I know for sure I am ...

Ten steps away from you
From you and him
Redemption, is that a sin?

You walk by the river
As you start to shiver
Two headlights are following you
As he pulls you closer
My engine's ticking over
It's my choice
To do what I do

I'm talking 'bout a split decision
Made in anger you know
I'm talking something that could change my life forever
Is it worth it? No
Is it worth it? No
Should I stay here and watch the show?
Or maybe ... it's time to go

I'd never run him over
I wouldn't wanna dent my car
I'd never rip your throat out
Cos that could leave a nasty scar
So I'm gonna go out
Get drunk with my friends
Try to get myself outta this funk
I'd never screw my life up
Because of how sick you are...

Friends...

yes!!!looks like wut i have been thinking all this time was not true...thanks sham 4 telling me the truth!!!and thanks to khairi and asyraf too...without khairi and asyraf,maybe i am still angry towards her rite now...thanks guys!i counldnt have the courage to confront her coz i am too scared that history might repeat itself...i thought that i have lost one,i dont wanna lose anyone anymore....but this time,maybe i wont....but wut about next year?i wonder?will she still be around?just have to wait and see...wutever the results is,i just have to accept it...but at least,sham apologize...unlike this particular someone...he/she just care about the cool guys or girls...maybe that's why...im not cool...ok,i admit it...im not cool,ive got nothing...im boring...but listen here,when u have great/true frens like mine,u wont need to be cool..u wont need to have like hundrends of money to impressed people...u wont need to act someone u aint...u dont have to cast away your feelings just to make people happy...in my opinion,that's kinda dumb...like me,when i have a problem,i just ask 4 advice from my frens...they had help me alot...each one of them has change a little bit of my life...example like asyraf,he make me realise that this particular someone was not worth it..yeah,and owh boy, he was rite...next example,sham,she had help me alot...she had done very good deeds to me...uncountable deeds...each and one my frens,akmal(yahya),amirul naim,sham,mai(zulkeple),asyraf,khairi,syafiq(cekal),faisal and many more had help me so much...i just wish i could return the favor...but im not sure if i can...anyway,guys,if ure reading this,thank u so much!i wont ever 4get wutvere u have done to me...to those i gave poems were the specials ones...hehehehe...anyway,wutever rite or wrongs u guys have done to me,u guys r always in my heart no matter how far away we r....thanks!

It's over!

Finally....the PMR is over....im kinda relieved but somehow kinda sad...it's just that PMR is over but my problem is just starting...i wonder...am i the only one who has this kind of problems? owh,and wafa,if u're reading this,i just want 2 say sorry...i know wut i did was wrong...but i was full with anger that time...but u should have confront him instead of just giving me clues...u know im not as smart as u....im dumber that u can imagine...that's why i cant tell if someone's truly want to be my fren or not....today,yeah...im kinda happy that i dont have to read books 247 anymore but something happen 2day....it's just breaks my heart...this is not the 1st time this thing happen to me...it has been twice...i dont know..am i really easy to be fooled with?am i ever enough to be a good fren to somebody?can i satisfied even 1 person with wut i have?when i do something nice,i never expect for something in return..NEVER...but when i found out that this particular someone didnt invite me to go somewhere with he/she instead she invited someone that she's not that very close,im feel really useless...like wut i did was never enough 4 he/she...2 months ago,i though my probs was over,looks like it's just starting....

sorry...

Broken hearts and last goodbyes
Restless nights, but lullabies
Helps make this pain go away
I realize I let you down
Told you that I'd be around
I'm building up the strength just to say,

I'm Sorry
For breakin' all the promises
That I wasn't around to keep
It's on me
This time is the last time
I will ever beg you to stay
But you're already on your way

Filled with sorrow, filled with pain
Knowing that I am to blame
For leaving your heart out in the rain
And I know you're gonna walk away
And leave me with the price to pay ,

I can't make it alive on my own
But if you have to go
Then please go,
Just leave me alone
Cause I don't wanna see
You and me goin' our separate ways I
'm begging you to stay
If it isn't to late ...

sori..

owh..btw to all my girl friends(kwn perempuan),im sori...but i need a little more time...sori if my coldness got to u guys...plz understand...and if u guys have any way to help me,plz send me a sms or a message or a comment....

Am i just a tool? or a fool?

i officially dont get her...she wrote me letter saying that she wanna be friends with me again....of course,after so long i havent talked to her....she hurted me very bad...and now,she got a new 'bff',i guess it proves im not that important as she says i am to her...she said that she wanna be friends with me again but she has done nothing but hurt me more...now,my heart is really torn apart...bcoz of her,i cant really trust girls anymore(sori atiqah,sue yin)....it's just so hard to regain my confidence and my trust against my guts again...that's why im such a coward,shy and quiet...that's why i've been so cold these few days..im just so scared to trust anyone...for now,the one i can really trust is akmal,sham and melissa...she's a hypocrite...everytime when she says she's gonna do something,she never did...am i just a tool for her to play with? each time she got bored with her other tools,she goes to me? maybe,i am a fool...sham said to just forget about her...but it just so hard seeing her everyday...last friday was fun...i stayed back with sham and mel...and we were at the surau...and as usual,we studied of course..PMR is just a month a way...but 4 the 1st time in 2 years,at that time,i was totally myself....i dont know why but at that time,they bring out myself that i locked myself away for too long...but that was only that time...that's my prob i guess..i cant bring out the REAL me...i hope someday,i can...

Kawan baik?

aduh...izudin2...nape la ko bersikap sedemikian kepada aku skrng? kenapa ko fikir yg aku fikir ko rampas wafa daripada aku? aku x pernah berfikir sedemikian terhadap ko...aku cuma minta ko jaga wafa...buat dia bahagia...aku x mampu...aku hanya menambahkan lagi kesengsaraannya...ko pernah jadi kwn baik aku...tapi skrng aku mula sangsi terhadap ko...maafkan aku..mungkin aku je bukan kwn yg baik..sebab tu wafa pon jauhkan diri daripada aku...kalau sape2 yg baca ni...fhm la kedudukan aku...kalau korg masih nak kutuk aku,kutuk la...aku jenis yg 'open'...kalau ada yg x puas hati ckp je la....aku akan cuba untuk buat korg gembira seberapa yg aku mampu..atiqah...sue yin...