Am i just a tool? or a fool?

i officially dont get her...she wrote me letter saying that she wanna be friends with me again....of course,after so long i havent talked to her....she hurted me very bad...and now,she got a new 'bff',i guess it proves im not that important as she says i am to her...she said that she wanna be friends with me again but she has done nothing but hurt me more...now,my heart is really torn apart...bcoz of her,i cant really trust girls anymore(sori atiqah,sue yin)....it's just so hard to regain my confidence and my trust against my guts again...that's why im such a coward,shy and quiet...that's why i've been so cold these few days..im just so scared to trust anyone...for now,the one i can really trust is akmal,sham and melissa...she's a hypocrite...everytime when she says she's gonna do something,she never did...am i just a tool for her to play with? each time she got bored with her other tools,she goes to me? maybe,i am a fool...sham said to just forget about her...but it just so hard seeing her everyday...last friday was fun...i stayed back with sham and mel...and we were at the surau...and as usual,we studied of course..PMR is just a month a way...but 4 the 1st time in 2 years,at that time,i was totally myself....i dont know why but at that time,they bring out myself that i locked myself away for too long...but that was only that time...that's my prob i guess..i cant bring out the REAL me...i hope someday,i can...