Family...

Im in my 3rd week..and my heart is still troubled everytime i leave home...why?

I questioned myself everyday...last year,i like to spend more time at school than at home...why?

Is it because i have people that i could count on? but i still felt lonely,but this time...it's different...

When i was in form 4,i vowed to spent as much time as possible with my family...because during that time,2 of my juniors lost their dad at a very young age...

I don't want to do something that i would greatly regret later...

So,everytime my father ask if i want to follow,i would and it became common for me to follow him anywhere at anytime...even for my mum i would do the same...

As time goes by,they wouldn't need to ask me if i want to follow because the answer will always be the same and that is,"yes"...

About 2 years ago,i set up my mind to make them happy in everything that i do...i tried to make them laugh...i tried to make them smile...although im not as good as my sister,but i do keep them company...they know that they can talk to me about anything...

I always wanted to take care of them...no matter how tough things that they will ask me to do,i'll do it so that theri burden would lessen...

Am i just a family guy? or is it just that im weak...

Or i just have abandonment issues...

I just wish that i can take this sadness away...the saying,"you never know how much someone worth is until you really lose them.." is true...i've always felt lonely at school but when i reach home,the loneliness lessen because i can talk to them about something else...it takes my mind out of those things...but now,i feel lonelier than ever..

Everytime i reach my room,i realise,"oh...my parents is at home..."

Everytime i open my eyes when i woke up from my sleep,they're not here...they're at home...

It's just...i don't even know how to describe it...i thought the fact that i lost my ex was hard...i think i rather feel losing her than to feel parentssick...

At least those kind of feelings i could stop the tears...but this,it's far worse...

I miss my parents...it's stupid because they are only about 30 mins away from me...so why do i miss them so much..?

Kolej..

Aiyo...baru dua hari...rasa dah sakit kepala...asyik rasa takut nak mula benda baru..asyik rasa rindu...semua bercampur...at least 1 masalah dah kurang sikit...tetapi itu,aku still boleh handle...problem baru,lagi teruk...aku je ke yg lemah? aku pun x tahu...semalam 1st day orientation...agak takut...xde benda yg xleh handle...sampai la balik ke bilik...bersendirian...mula teringatkan parents...sedih la...apa lagi...rasa bersalah pun ada...tempat ni dah la mahal...kalau aku tahu akan rasa macam ni,baik aku terima uniten je dulu...at least situ murah sikit...sini,kalau la aku boleh convince parents untuk duduk rumah...kalau parents aku masih muda,maybe aku xkan fikir macam ni...memandangkan mereka berdua dah tua,memang rasa bersalah nak tinggalkan...seorang kakak dah kahwin...seorang dah kerja...dan seorang lagi nak pergi india...xde la orag nak teman mereka...betul juga apa yang mirza kata,"like they need u and u need them"...memang aku bengang kalau orang cakap macam tu..sebab xde orang faham,betapa sedihnya kadang2 menjadi anak seorang lelaki...bila cuti lepas spm,aku yang banyak teman mereka ke mana2 tempat...bukan setakat lepas spm je...sebelum tu lagi...bukannya aku nak kata aku x suka jadi anak seorang lelaki,aku suka sangat...setiap kali aku buat sesuatu yang membanggakan,mereka gembira je...sekarang ni mereka terpaksa keluarkan duit hanya sebab aku x dpt score dalam spm...aku memang x suka biarkan mereka buat apa2 tanpa aku menolong...sekarang ni kat rumah,aku x dpt tolong mereka lagi...setiap kali aku fikirkan pengorbanan yang mereka telah buat untuk aku,memang air mata akan keluar...dan aku x dpt apa yang mereka nak untuk spm...ini suatu lagu yang selalu ingatkan aku tentang mereka...

Sun rise and I lift up my head then I smile at your picture sitting next to my bed
Sun set and you’re feeling okay cause you smile at the letter that I sent you today
Cant wait till I see you again and we both say remember when
The band played on the fourth of July and you held me on your shoulders way up high

Your still there for me
Wherever there might be
And if an ocean lies between us I’ll send a message across the sea
That you can’t sleep tonight knowing it’s all right
I believe that you’re listening to my song
You’re with me
You’ve been here all along
You’ve been here all along

Back then you walked me to school told me to be careful and to follow the rules
Fast forward you taught me to drive you gave me the keys and we went for a ride
And I cant wait till I see you again and we both say remember when
I’m holding on to moments like that and I know that their coming back

All along the way I keep you in my heart and in my prayers
You’ll always be the one who cares the most
Counting all the days
I see you running up to say, “ I missed you”
I missed you

Your still there for me
Wherever there might be
And if an ocean lies between us I’ll send a message across the sea
That you can’t sleep tonight knowing It’s alright
I believed that you’re listening to my song
You’re with me
Cause you’re with me
You’ve been here all along
You’ve been here all along

The No. 18...

Wah! I've finally turn 18...sometimes when i think about it,i just cant believe it...10 years ago,i was still watching power rangers in front of the tv and wanted to be like them...and i was sooo happy...and excited to grow big and strong and wish that i could be like one of them...4 years pass and i still have that dream...

what had happened to that dream? i wondered...where is that kid? the kid that is full of hopes and dreams...i guess i'm trying to find him...

what had happened to me? how did i lose that kid? and how do i get him back? i miss him so much...

5 years ago,i was different...

what if 5 years from now i will be more different?

i've always wanted to be where i am today...but 5 years ago,i never thought i would feel this way...

Let's just find out what will happen in 5 years :)

Thank You..

Well,here goes...(biarkan lagu terpasang tau...baik punyer!)

I've written all the memories that we shared and how much you guys have change my life for the better...we've shared many things together...and those times will always be in my memories (and my diary)...

You guys are really something else...each one of you...maybe i was blind to see in the beginning...and sometimes i regret that i didn't noticed it earlier...that i have people by my side who i care and cares about me back...how do i say it ey? For some time i keep thinking that i can't have any friends because of my lack social skills...you guys took me in when i was left by the side...you all looked at me differently than other people usually do...

These last few years,somebody keeps on bombarding me with things such as family is more important...and kept on saying that i don't care about my family...and at that time i was spending more time with my problems than with others...yes,family is important..but friends like all of you are also important...some people may say that what i'm talking is rubbish...but though we may not share ties of blood,we are family...

So,i just hope we won't ever lose contact...i think i've said enough...you get the point ey? Like i said many times before,eventhough i have my problems,i'm never too busy to help...we're friends...we're family :)

(sori ayat jiwang sikit bagi yang tak tahan :P)

Good luck in heading towards your future! Here's a little something i've pulled out...

World turns black and white
Pictures in an empty room
Your love starts fallin' down
Better change your tune
Yeah, you reach for the golden ring
Reach for the sky
Baby, just spread your wings

Run, run, run away
Like a train runnin' off the track
Got the truth bein' left behind
Falls between the cracks
Standin' on broken dreams
Never losin' sight, ah
Well just spread your wings

We'll get higher and higher
Straight up we'll climb
We'll get higher and higher
Leave it all behind

So baby dry your eyes
Save all the tears you've cried
Oh, that's what dreams are made of
'Cause we belong in a world that must be strong
Oh, that's what dreams are made of

Yeah, we'll get higher and higher
Straight up we'll climb
Higher and higher
Leave it all behind
Oh, we'll get higher and higher
Who knows what we'll find?

So baby dry your eyes
Save all the tears you've cried
Oh, that's what dreams are made of
Oh baby, we belong in a world that must be strong
Oh, that's what dreams are made of

And in the end on dreams we will depend
'Cause that's what love is made of

Shahfirul Azwan...

Pirol! The one and only! and the last one! Mari gua bercerita sikit...

Kita mula berkenalan masa form 3 la kan? Aku jadi PPS tahun 08...hampir setiap hari tengok gelagat gila kau...siapa x tergelak kan? aku nampak kau ni macam seronok je...tetapi masa tu aku masih segan nak masuk gang kau...aku gelak2 dari jauh je...

Masuk form 4,tengok2 kita sama kelas! kau duduk belakang aku dengan iqmal dengan che...tak habis2 kacau mai...aku mula berborak dengan kau lepas khai dengan aiemen pindah kelas...sebab kau dah mula lepak dengan shafeeqdeen...aku menyibuk sekali...aku pun fikir,"interesting gak dia ni"...hahaha...semua orang kau kacau...cikgu pun tak terkecuali...aku takkan lupa apa kau buat kat aku tahun ni pirol...aku buat 'hal' aku,kau datang kacau! sama je dengan akmal tu...bila final exam,kita mula lepak kat bilik Pn zaleha...memang bising ar kat sana bila kau ada...

Masuk form 5,kita sama kelas lagi! suprise2! haha...bila kita mula2 masuk kelas tu,aku nak kau duduk sebelah aku tau...masa tu,aku asyik keliru dalam masalah2 aku...dan aku nak juga borak2 dengan kau....tetapi hannah kata duduk macam masa f4...takpela kot...kau dengan shafeeqdeen tak habis2 buat lawak korg...memang hampir setiap hari gila2...kalau korg ada memang tak berhenti la aku ketawa...bila kita pindah kelas ke bilik media,kita dah mula menyorok kat library...bawah counter tu...ingat? hahahaha....aduh...kadang2 bila waktu hujan la best...kita duduk sana sampai nak dekat pukul 9...ada sekali masa add maths,kita tak siap kerja...kita sorok kat sana...bincang tentang benda2...pergh! memang best ar! ada sekali gak...aku tengah sakit kepala...aku nak masuk bilik kerja nak rehat...kau teman aku...memang aku berterima kasih ar...kau rilek je duduk tengok tv...aku tidur je...dalam sejam,kau pun dah tertidur...tetapi lama2,ada orang pergi cakap yang kita berdua ponteng...aduh...leceh betul...nasib baik cikgu tak marah...ingat kem PPS...kau kacau Hasnol tu? kejam betul kau kan...hahaha...aku pun tak terlepas...masa teacher's day tu,kau jadi budak nakal yang cuba pikat iklil...aku rasa time tu aku terpasang lagu cepat sangat...sorry ye...tetapi menjadi juga sketsa tu...hohoh...ingat lawatan ke memorial tu...kau dengan shafeeqdeen....memang penuh dengan jenaka korg...masa lawatan ke KLCC,kau ada ke? aku tak ingat dah...haha...setiap kali kita masuk kelas agama,uztaz selalu nampak bengang je...ingat bila dia mengamuk tu? sebab kau kan? hahahaha...lek lek...kau memang kuat memori kan...setiap kali Pn Jasbeer tanya soalan,kau boleh je jawab...gila weh...kau memang pandai sejarah woh...tetapi bila masuk kelas add maths,terbalik pula...cikgu asyik marah kau je...hahahaha...setiap kali Pn Ranjeet nak panggil kau,aku asyik tergelak je...nak tengok apa kau nak buat...nak speaking? cewah! ingat lagi joke 'pembaris' tu...'panjang'...'sangat panjang'...sengal gila...hahahaha...setiap kali ada peluang,kau tentu akan menghilang...cikgu2 pulak asyik tertanya je la...dalam bilik media tu,memang kawasan belakang tu dah macam katil kita...bila cikgu takde je,terus pergi belakang dan tidur...memang best...kotor mana pun,kalau letih sangat,peduli apa kan? hohoho...kemudian kita pindah balik ke kelas atas lepas trials...tak banyak dah jadi sampai la habis SPM...

Sekarang kau dah kat UITM...mula belajar balik...bagus2...sekurang-kurangnya kau nak teruskan belajar...terima kasih la weh...atas segala-galanya...kau ada juga tolong aku dalam beberapa benda...tak banyak tapi dah cukup untuk buat aku bergelak-ketawa dengan orang lain...good luck weh! study rajin2!

Nur Diyanah

Giliran kau pula...mari...actually aku dah buat awal2 sebelum kau pergi PLKN,ni aku ambil peluang update kan sikit...

Kita mula2 jumpa time form 2 kan...kau join tarian merdeka tu...aku tak join...masa latihan aku sakit kepala jadi cikgu tak pilih aku...tapi aku pun bukannya boleh menari...so silap aku juga pergi join...memalukan diri aku je...

Aku kenal kau sekadar nama sahaja sebab kakak aku kenal kau...dia kata kau baik sangat...lembut je...aku ingat lagi setiap kali kakak aku panggil nak jumpa kau,aku berlagak macho je...hah...time tu pun aku tengah cari kawan so,otak aku bengap sket...

Time form 3,kita dah satu kelas...but walaupun satu kelas pun,kita tak banyak cakap kan...aku asyik dengan wafa je time tu...but akhirnya sebab efi rapat dgn kau,aku mula rapat dengan kau...

Time form 4 baru aku mula rapat dengan kau...sebab time tu,aku fikir aku patut buat kawan baru dari asyik duduk seorang je...kebetulan kau duduk 2 tempat dari kanan aku...sebelah aku pula kadang2 kosong...jadi,aku mula borak dengan kau...mula2 start dengan tolong homework...last2,mula la ada org ejek,"ali mustafa"...habis la...aku memang bengang...tapi kau kata biarkan je..lagipun,bunyi mcm kita adik-beradik pula...so,aku dah tak marah sejak tu..aku biarkan...lama kelamaan,aku mula anggap kau macam adik sendiri...

masuk f5,kau dah mula kacau aku...tak habis2...tak serik2...setiap hari,ada je masa kau nak perli,sindir,ejek...macam2 lagi ko buat kat aku...haha...aku sabar je....tapi aku pun ada juga balas balik...padan muka...hahaha...aku kesiankan kau kadang2 aku nampak macam kau duduk seorang je...itu sebab kadang2 aku panggil kau duduk dengan aku...ingat lagi time book fare tu? haha! aduhai! aku memang berterima kasih gila2! Sebab kau datang ke klcc dengan aku hari tu,kau selamatkan raya aku untuk tahun lepas...sebelum tu,kau nmpk aku asyik sedih je...aku rasa kadang2 topeng aku tak menjadi...haha...kau cakap kat aku yang aku ada ramai kawan...dan kau ada...dan masa kita sambut merdeka,aku gembira juga sebab akhirnya aku dapat berfikir straight walaupun untuk sehari pun...tapi dalam kelas,kau nampak aku seorang,kau tak bagi...jadi kau suruh aku duduk sebelah kau....at least kau boleh ceriakan aku sikit...aku panggil jega,dan kita bertiga bersama je la sampai habis sekolah hari tu...ada satu hari,kau nampak aku duduk sebelah dia...kau marah aku...kau tak bagi aku teruskan apa yang aku buat sebab nanti aku akan berharap...aku patut ikut je nasihat kau time tu...

2011,kau masuk PLKN awal2 tahun...aduh...bosan pula kau takde...kau ar kadang2 bila aku boring dan aku tak tahu nak mesej siapa,tiba2 hp aku akan bunyi dan,pop! muncul nama kau...mengacau aku....hahahaha....kau keluar PLKN je,kita terus plan nak keluar...jumpa2,gila ar...suprise2...dah bertudung...hahaha...seminggu sebelum results...aiya...kau dapat berita buruk...aku dapat lepas results...hah...teruk2...sehari sebelum aku pergi NZ,kita keluar...aku rasa tu je hari yang seingat aku,hari aku spend time paling lama dengan kau...bila kat sekolah dulu,sekejap2 je...hari khamis tu,nak dekat sehari...entah kenapa malam tu,aku rasa takut sikit nak bertolak ke NZ...cuak2...kita tak jumpa dah sampai kenduri kakak aku...memang bersinar la mata keluarga mak aku...aduh...habis kena hentam teruk2...bila korg ada aku dah kena...korg balik je...aduh...kena lagi...kita tak jumpa dah sampai sekarang...semua dah bz...kecuali aku! hahaha...

satu benda je yang aku menyesal setakat ni ialah aku tak bersama dengan kau time kau dapat 'mesej' tu...kau dah kerja,so agak susah nak cakap dengan kau...tak lama lagi kau nak masuk belajar dah...lagi susah...sejak results,pemikiran aku agak tak menentu...tak banyak benda dah berlaku...tetapi kalau nak buat ayat gempak,memang banyak benda dah berlaku la..the dissapointment...the breakup...oh damn...where to start? susah2...kalau aku pernah tanya soalan2 yang kau anggap pelik,biarkan je la...bila kita dah habis belajar,jom aku akan teman kau menceburi dalam astronomi...hahaha...aku pun minat juga...aku tabik kat kau sebab nak bajet kuat pun masih kekal diri kau...lek lek...itu,sesuatu yang aku memang harap kau takkan berubah...sebab setengah org aku tengok...lelaki ke perempuan,bila nak tunjuk kuat,mula la buat perangai...malangnya aku juga termasuk dalam list tu...memang kalau aku duduk bangsar,setiap hari aku ajak datang rumah...memang best la time kenduri tu...kau boleh jadi kuat...takde sebab aku juga tak boleh...aku hargai untuk semua yang kau dah lakukan untuk aku...kalau kau perlukan apa2,text je la dan aku akan cuba untuk tolong sebanyak boleh...tak ramai kawan2 yang aku dah anggap macam keluarga sendiri...adik2...hahaha...terima kasih untuk segala-galanya...semoga berjaya untuk dalam menghadapi masa hadapan kau :)

Nur Diana Melissa...

Where should we start??? Hmmmmmm.....

Mula jumpa kau,masa form 2...aku nampak kau tengah baca buku...memandangkan kau dengan asfvin go way back,kau approach dia dan sebab aku dengan suresh ada bersama dia,kau tanya nama kita...time tu,aku masih malu2 dan aku tak nak cakap and entah macam mana aku suruh suresh yang cakap...bengap kan? hahaha...masa form 2 aku mula jadi emo...aku selalu duduk seorang kat luar bila rehat...dan kau suka je kejutkan aku dari belakang...ada sekali kau tanya aku kenapa aku duduk kat luar...aku kata yang diorg tak suka aku...kau cakap yang aku think too much...ingat ada surat yang aku nak hantar kat 'ugly betty' tu? aku minta kau check....and kau kata aku tak make sense and english aku berterabur...memang pun...at that time,i was too desperate i think...entah kenapa...raging hormones...hahaha...14 kan...biasa la...

Siot kan,2008...kau naik kelas...sejak ni kau dah antara yang pandai...aku still kat bottom...hahaha...sesuai la dengan usaha aku...aku mula kecewa dengan budak kecik ni...and aku asyik curse feelings aku terhadap dia...kau kata kat aku,"kau tak boleh halang dari perasaan tu untuk datang"...so,i accept it and try to work out of it...we dont talk much this year kan? maybe sebab kita lain kelas...but bila kau dapat tahu yang aku rapat dengan sham(memandangkan kau pun rapat dengan sham),aku mula rapat dengan kau balik...kau selalu score je dalam setiap exam...trials pun kau dapat tinggi...finally,kita berdua dapat tinggi kan? hahaha...tahun ni aku mula solat jumaat dekat bangsar...kadang2 lepas solat kita tentu lepak dekat MPH...good times...good times...

2009,kita mula lepak lagi kerap setiap jumaat...memang best...kau bawa aku ke flat kau...that was a really,weird feeling i had at that time...bila kau dapat tahu yang aku suka minah tu? sebab aku tak ingat aku ada bagitahu kau...memandangkan kau bukan jenis yang ambil kisah pasal benda2 ni time tu,aku tak bagitahu banyak kat kau...i was really depressed this year and i've gone out with you really frequent kan? kau teman aku gi beli no maxis aku...memang banyak penipuan aku buat tahun ni...but in the end,semua terbongkar...bila ada no maxis ni,senang la kau mesej aku kan? takde dah complain mahal sangat...hahaha...lek lek...aku tak ingat bila,tetapi ada sekali aku bagi kau pegang hp aku...aku tulis dengan 'note' aku some 'dark words'...bila kau bagi balik,dekat 'note' tu tertulis,"even in the darkest darkness,there's always a little bit of light"...bila aku terfikir balik,aku ada bagi kau mesej dengan ayat tu...kau tulis balik ek? hahaha...kau datang sekali ke rumah lama masa aku ajak kau tu...that was...really a day...the future meets the past? haha...i really love that house...kau ada kata kat aku yang aku ni suka cari masalah...in a way kau betul...aku memang suka cari gaduh...suka cari masalah kan...ingat tak bila kita nak cari tudung kat amcorp tu? aku hilang kad touch n go tu? memang panik aku...tetapi kau just keep on smiling and say not to worry...oh yes...kau ada cadangkan aku buat satu lagi blog...to see if anyone gaves a comment and if anyone was like me...somewhere in september kau cakap kat aku,"is not all about you"...well,you're right...at that time,i was being selfish...things were just not right...tipikal la...aku baru turn 16...hormonal changes...a lot of hurting...

2010,u still stayed at the top...memang susah nak kalahkan kau...hampir setiap exam kau kalahkan aku...kau tak habis2 sindir aku kan...panas juga telinga aku kadang2...but,kau cakap tu ada betulnya...kadang2 bila aku down,kau akan tanya aku pagi2,"kau ok ke?"...aku asyik x jawab and i would just walk away...it's just hurting me to not tell you about how i felt...but i dont really know how to expain it...dalam SMKBB you're one of the 2 that really knows what i've been through...and i just kept on thinking that i dont want to burden you with my mistakes...with my problems...i cant even understand myself...well,i do...but it's just too complicated...ada sekali bila aku nak masuk movie yang farah nak buat tu,aku lepak dengan kau dekat library kan...dekat counter tu ingat? akhir2,aku give up sebab diorang tak panggil aku...well,actually diorang suruh duduk kat meeting room tu...tetapi i rather spend my time with you,i quit je la benda tu...malas aku nak tunggu kat sana...kalau aku tunggu kat sana,i'll get bored...hahaha....aku lepak dengan kau,kau pakai spek aku kan? then kau suruh aku ambil gambar kau...kau kata kau suka gambar tu sebab kau ada pakai something that's mine...hahaha...bila dah kita start studying together? mula2 every monday kan? then tukar ke selasa...aku tak boleh lupa,ada sekali tu,kita dah janji nak buat study kat bilik akses lepas sekolah,then,kau tak datang...cis...aku cari kau merata-rata tau...sampai la ada orang kata yang kau dah balik...esok tu aku tanya kau kenapa tak datang...kau kata sebab kau tak nampak aku...cis...actually hari tu aku tak rasa baik sangat...jadi,aku tak nak jalan banyak tempat...aku ingat kau akan datang cari aku la...tengok2 kau terus balik...aiya...then,masa hari jadi aku,kau bagi kad filled with quotes...thanks for that....i looked at it sometimes...masa hari jadi kau pula,aku cakap kat kau yang aku hargai kau datang jenguk aku setiap kali rehat...aku memang hargainya la...but as i remember,lepas tu,kau dah tak datang dah kat kelas aku setiap kali rehat...aku pun terfikir,"takkan sebab apa yang aku cakap hari tu?"...kau kan tak suka orang depend kat kau kan...so,aku pun decided,biar la...masa rehat aku pergi merayau la...memandangkan aku tak suka pergi library kalau takde cikgu...but bila dah,kau dah tak tanya aku apa kena dengan aku...i guess sebab SPM dah dekat kan...no use thinking about me anyway...ada hari selase ni,my head terganggu sikit by something...masa agama,kau nampak mata aku berair sikit...malam tu kau text aku,that if i want to talk,u're there...and i didnt sampai la malam keesokkan tu...aku dah fed up sangat...kau offer untuk cakap dengan dia about it,but aku kata aku tak nak dia tahu yang aku tahu...kau suruh aku cuba cakap dengan orang yang dapat ingatkan aku about 'what life is'...guess i wont see 'life' for a while...masa jamuan PRS tu,cikgu yeap dgn aku pergi ambil kau...dia kata kau gf aku...sebab aku puji kau lawa time tu...weird...hahaha...but natural la manusia fikir macam tu...ingat lagi time kita tipu cikgu faizal tu? hahaha...aduh...memang kita buat dia percaya yang kita ni bersama...kita nak tumpang dia kan? then kau kata kita nak pergi dating tu...aduh...cikgu2...ingat tak bila aku datang ke kelas kau dan aku menangis tu? boleh pulak kau tanya aku,"why r u crying?"....hahaha...its stupid...aku tahu...bila dah habis sekolah tu,kau marah aku lagi...15.8.10,kita pergi seminar kat segi tu...mengantuk gila...dah la puasa...aku jumpa kawan aku,andrew kat sana...kau tanya whether kevin ada ke tak...kau tak habis2 dengan kevin kan...malangnya dia takde...memang kau pergi cakap dekat andrew tu yang kau teman aku....amboi...mulut kau memang...kalau rumah aku kat bangsar,aku nak je ikut kau balik naik bas...i wasnt satisfied that day...masa teacher's day,kau nampak how i reacted depan dia dan kau kata,"i understand how u feel"...do you really? benda yang pasal friends tu,mana kau dapat? masih ada lagi dalam beg aku...ingat tak kau pernah cakap kat aku that you liked me more when i was depressed? gila kan kau...bila trials,kita sama taraf...but i still considered u to be smarter than me...that's why i didnt let u to give up during our SPM...bila form 3/4(aku tak ingat bila),kau kata aku ada semuanya...well,at that time,kau tak melihat semuanya lagi kan...i didnt have everything...money doesnt buy happiness...what bring happiness is friendship,love and success...

2011,aku mula teman kau makan kat tangga bila kau rehat...kinda weird though...kita keluar dgn efi,diyanah,mirza,nurul dan pai sekejap kan...kau pergi beli tiket tanpa aku...cis...kawan2 baik aku tak pernah dapat buat aku main arcade walaupun dah banyak kali cuba..kau? cuba sekali je dan aku dah mula main arcade...ish...kau bagi aku baca buku personaliti...kau suruh aku perbaikikan diri...that was then...then,kita pergi tengok burlesque! oh my....what a movie...memang tak tenang hati aku...kita keluar lagi dengan diyanah sebelum aku berangkat ke NZ...kau tak habis2,"seronok kan hidup single"...memang la seronok..

Those 4 years,really change me in a way...and i guess,the years changed you too...hahaha...a bit...dont worry...i really hope our friendship stands tall...and i'll try my best to not be hurt again...i never did know how to make the right decisions...im sorry if i ever hurt you in some way...but thanks for everything...i really appreciate it...setiap kali aku keluar dengan kau,aku tentu kena balik awal...memang susah nak ucapkan goodbye...but one day,when we're old enough,bila aku keluar dengan kau,you'll have me for the whole day...hahaha...tak kisah la apa kau nak buat...arcade ke...wayang ke...im down...like i said,kau banyak marah aku...but in a way,kau turut bagi nasihat...apa yang kau dah buat,memang tak ternilai...and i'll repay it someday...if you ever need help,im always there...kau dah masuk matrik...kau masih ada.but it feels different...maybe now aku dah tak boleh kacau kau dah sebab kau dah mula belajar? hahaha....good luck...thank you for everything...

(sorry for the late post ye...)

Stranger Like Me

Whatever you do, I'll do it too
Show me everything and tell me how
It all means something
And yet nothing to me

I can see there's so much to learn
It's all so close and yet so far
I see myself as people see me
Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there

I wanna know, can you show me
I wanna know about these
strangers like me
Tell me more, please show me
Something's familiar about these strangers like me

Every gesture, every move that she makes
Makes me feel like never before
Why do I have
This growing need to be beside her

Ooo, these emotions I never knew
Of some other world far beyond this place
Beyond the trees, above the clouds
I see before me a new horizon

I wanna know, can you show me
I wanna know about these strangers like me
Tell me more, please show me
Something's familiar about these strangers like me

Come with me now to see my world
Where there's beauty beyond your dreams
Can you feel the things I feel
Right now, with you
Take my hand
There's a world I need to know

I wanna know, can you show me
I wanna know about these strangers like me
Tell me more, please show me
Something's familiar about these strangers like me

...I wanna know

*There was a time,when you did something to me and this song was on...so,a few verses really match how i feel about our friendship..one does not...expecially the 2nd verse..you said that you don't want people to depend on you right...hehe...see it for yourself...the song was from Phil Collins from the movie Tarzan :)