The PAST!!!

I got it...that familiar feeling! it's the same feeling that i had everyday when i was still living in BU...i had a dream...and thx to that dream...i found where did the familiar feeling came from....i thought and thought about it more...and i guess....my problems all started 4 years ago....my unhappiness...this pain and anger...im getting fed up....and that always lead to another problem....that's my problem...but i guess...it has been long enough....im sick and tired....nat gave me some useful info....and i thought bout it all nite yesterday...and somehow,all that im feeling rite now....somehow it connects with my past..."ble ko kecewa,ko akan start rindu benda2 lama"...that's it...now....im starting to appreciate this fren of mine...****************....thx 4 everything...i luv u 4ever and always(as a fren of course,dun wanna give the wrong idea)...it's true...i was more happy when i lived in BU...at that time...i wasnt so focused on my grandma's death and the lost of my 'kg'....i was too focused on the lost of my frens...but then,i was only f1...as the years go,i didnt miss them as much as when i was f1 coz a certain someone help me to 4get the past...now i miss her more than my past come 2gether...she relates to my past somehow....maybe she's rite..."u live in a miserable life u cant stand seeing other people being happy"...a quote i got from the famous tv show HOUSE...maybe that's me...that's wut i have become over the years....but,this has gone 4 long enough...something needs to change...I need to change! i cant go on like this 4ever...i want to be strong 4 her....i will keep my promises! i will get stronger! my grandma and my old frens has left me a smile that i will never 4get...those smiles will give me strength...one day,i'll meet my old frens again...that's my goal....like i said to kevin a few years ago,"we may never c each other,but we will succeed 2gether"....now i remember...im gonna beat my sisters and prove them wrong....the spirit to be strong must be born from myself...that's true...but it is also true that u wont survive life alone...if it's like that,then i will find somebody else...i will get stronger! u'll c!

A familiar feeling...

Ehm...i keep thinkin bout 2 days ago...when we had our merdeka celebration...in the moring,as usual,when i reach skool..i slept 4 a while at the canteen until a CERTAIN someone WAKES me up! haha...M! u came with ure fren and said that me and her r 'sedondon'...she wore dark red baju kurung while i ws wearing a maroon baju melayu...when i saw her,something was familiar bout her...not sure wut...but it wasnt the 1st time i had that kind of feeling...and the 'wind' came...as usual...then,when the performers from Sri Pantai were performing,something struck me when i saw one of the girls...the 'wind' came back and i felt like something was coming back to me...a part of my memory? but i dun have amnesia or anything...a part of my past? wut was it then? argh! the answer seems so close,but yet it is so far...it has been bothering me 4 years...i gotta know wut was that feeling all about...so familiar....damn it....

Merdeka! / u make me more crazier M!

Merdeka!
Well,2day was a blast! The celebration went until 10 am...it was long but fun! at 1st...i was kinda nervous to meet this someone...but as time goes...it wasnt worth it...so i went on by myself...well,i wasnt actually alone...i had reuben who tagged along...he was quiet but,still when he talks,he tried to be the best that he can...just like a certain somebody...well,i admire people like that...so,we parted ways at 10 coz he wanted to go to the cantin to eat while at that point,i was still waiting 4 this someone...when Mr. Rafique came to deliver the 'Nasi Briyani' that our teacher ordered,my heart shattered and i changed my mind...it wasnt worth it...after that,jega called to bring the thunbdrive to the computer room coz our group was next to present...after we've finished our presentations,suddenly our est teacher said,"let's take some pictures"...we were shocked...trust me...coz she was always strict and was always out to get us...but,looks like she's getting nicer...who cares? haha! so,we followed her 'order' and took some pics! sham and suresh was the 1st pic i took...haha! weird but they actually look sweet...haha! jega,pirol and the others were after that...it lasted until the bell rang..we were so excited taking pics until we didnt even heard the bell rang! haha! then,there was the jamuan pps...well,to tell the truth,it wasnt as much fun as last year...but i found something...someone...she made me feel like i can hold on again...when she touched me,it feels like...hard to explain...but i can feel that she cared for me...well,just as a fren....but,she's soooo caring...to tell the truth,she isnt so pretty in pics but when i meet her eye 2 eye,she's adorable! 4 so long i havent felt that way...she reminded me of someone...i cant get so close with her...i know that she has another person...but when im with her,the anger...the pain...it all dissapeared...now,i kept thinking bout her...should i make a move? but i dun want to have high hopes 4 her...but...damn....but,eventhough it lasted for only bout 20-30 mins,it was a moment i'll never forget...

"Feels like I'm falling and I,I'm lost in your eyes,You make me Crazier...Crazier...Crazier..."

Myself v1

Well,i was bored...staying at home 4 more than 4 days...so i did some quizes in fb...2 find out more bout myself....here r the results...

Wut element r u?
You are a spunky and young at heart person who loves to have a good time. Your youthful abandon breathes new life ...into those around you. You are always making up new games and striving to learn new things from others. You also have a great love for animals, which tends to judge what you eat. Many, however, cannot see the beauty of simplicity, and their greed and destruction tends to affect you the most. Using self discipline fueled by your passion for the world, you are a strong force to deal with. Like a hurricane you have the ability to tear through those who threaten those whom you care for. You heart is very large, and you tend to crush on those who are just as caring. Friends are easily made, and you tend to forgive those who have hurt you, although it may take you a little bit to let go of a grudge. Overall, you fly through life with a passion for others and a will to spread peace. Your opposite is Earth.


Which bleach captain r u?
4th Squad: Unohana Retsu.
The mother figure of the 13 Court Guard Squads. She's always calm and attentive, and also not a woman to... be hampered with. She will distribute punishment when needed, and will not tolerate misbehavior.


"Where do you belong in the dark, light, or in both "
Your some what in dark but more towards light.
you enjoy friends and some of your family members but not much and you always like going out with your friends


What type of person do you attract? quiz and the result is You attract Yuppies!
You attract the very well-dressed, job oriented type of people. They usually have their finances together, are 'middle of the road' on most topics, generally... happy with the 'main-stream' of things. If it is stability you are after, these are good people to attract, if you seek adventure, it may be time for an overhaul.


How do others view you? quiz and the result is Happy
You're funny, witty, charming and everyone likes you. You're a good listener and know exactly what to say to please a crowd. One problem. Are you truly happy?


"How Evil Are You?" quiz and the result is Good.
Thank goodness there are people like you in the world! You are tolerant and conscious of others, and people are generally drawn to your kin...d open demeanor. You give help when it is needed and enjoy the happiness of others. Sometimes you may have bad days, but you try not to take it out on other people. Your goodness inspires people to be the same way, and you know that your friends will do the same things for you that you do for them.


Which Harry Potter Character Are You? quiz and the result is You are Ginny Weasley
You are having crush on someone special and are trying to catch their eye.You tend to be shy at times but are a friendly and loving person.


What kind of person should you be with? quiz and the result is Loving
Your dream partner has to be a loving one. He or she will bring you gifts all the time, for no reason at all. You are their main priority! They are definately a keeper!


Which Zodiac Sign Are You Most Compatible With? quiz and the result is Virgo
You are most compatible with VIRGO! I'm sure most of your friends are Virgoes! Together you're going to rock! Virgoes do not trust others nor do they have c...onfidence in themselves and their judgments. This is because they are conscious of certain shortcomings in themselves of worldliness, of practicality, of sophistication and of outgoingness. They have potential abilities in the arts, sciences and languages. They are still waters that run deep. Yet in their unassuming, outwardly cheerful and agreeable fashion, they can be sensible, discreet, well spoken, wise and witty, with a good understanding of other people's problems.


"What Naruto Character Are You? (Boy characters)" quiz and the result is Naruto.
You are Naruto! Naruto is very hyper and can be a bit rash, but that's all right because that's him...! Naruto is the jinchuuriki host of the nine-tailed fox. He is a very powerful ninja who has an uncanny knack for getting into bad situations. But he always pulls through and in the process usually changes someone's life, with his kindness. Be honored to be like Naruto!


Which akatsuki member r u? Result is Konan
You are quiet and mysterious, care about your friends and are able to do anything for them. But they may abuse it and make you do bad things. You like art and small details, like Origami, and can make beatiful things from just a piece of wrinkled paper you find on a floor.


"who are you in naruto?" quiz and the result is Sakura.
You are brave and valueable. Your friends could not get anywhere without you. You heal them all in a way, physically or mentally. You... are needed much more than you think you are and have far more potential then you know. You are a trustworthy soul.


Which Naruto Chakra Element Do You Have An Affinity Towards?" quiz and the result is Your elemental paper has turned wet! Your element is WATER!.
Water chakra users usually have a split pe...rsonality, one minute they are collected and focused, the next stormy and raging. However, their sharp minds usually overcome this mixed blessing. Water is best suited against fire, however is worst against earth jutsu. An example of a Shinobi who uses this element is the second Hokage, and the Village of Water is the Hidden Mist Village.Read More


there's more to come...

Pirol!

Pirol! Happy birthday! Hahaha! 2day was quite fun in fact! Let me start from the beginning...Pn Nik didnt enter the class coz the assembly took 2 long to finish..then,there was PJK...i was always hype bout going to PJ but 2day,i wanted to reserve my energy for later..so,i didnt bring my PJ clothes..when we(me,jega and suresh) went down coz we were scolded by Pn Siti coz we're in the class when we should be downstairs,we were called by En Visva...and oh man...he looked furious! i thought he's going to chew us alive! he even yelled,"boys!"...man,that was freaky...but when we gathered,he only asked us why we didnt bring our clothes and then he let us do our own work only next time we need to wear our PJ clothes...fuh! that was a relieve...there was add maths next..it's a gud thing my 'sis' done her homework...then,it's only a smooth sailing to finish the add maths work..haha! i know im lazy...well,history went as usually...the only weird thing was that my teacher suddenly asked bout my sis...it has been a long time...then,there was EST...man,i cant say much...but 2day,she was kinda calmed...weird...then,when school finished,it was time to put the 'pieces' to place...everything went smoothly only we were a bit late to piza hut coz pirol,the bday boy,was playing with his hp i think...cant remember...then,we walked to piza hut...suprisingly,everyone was there...me and jega went to buy the cake...i wanted to suprise pirol,so before i went back up,i asked jega to called shafeeq to drag pirol to the toilet to give us some time to prepare the cake...i wasnt expecting pirol to come out so soon coz the boys dun know how to wish him..so,when pirol went out,jega started to sing the bday song..so,we followed..and pirol looked very suprised! haha! i can tell that he was vey shy at that moment..the girls asked him to do a speech...it's short but it was funny...haha! So,he made the 1st cut to the cake...and believe me the cake was delicious! Nothing much happen then..we just ordered a few pizas...took a few pics then went home...it was fun...although it didnt last long...but still,nothing makes me happier than to c smiles on the face of the people who r precious 2 me...

U know that the closer u get to something,the tougher is to c it,i'll never take it 4 granted,so,let's go!

I miss you...

Ehm...4 years has it been? ehm...doing my oral test last monday kinda brings back the memories...i was really nervous but a few frens gave me support...i really thankful...i thought i wanted to give a message but i was 2 nervous until i forgot bout it...damn..."u'll never know how precious someone is until u lose that someone"...ehm...my frend did her oral today...it was really suprising that she got 18..i mean,she did really gud...if i were to judge,i would have given her at least 25...but i saw her eyes watered when it was over...dun worry la...u did really gud! i was proud of u...atleast u were better than me...today was also my other fren's birthday...she made a party and as usual...i wasnt invited...i would be lying if i say that im fine...but,wut can i do? i was never enough 4 anybody...i never had the looks or the 'coolness' like my frens that were invited..naim wanted me to join but from his face i knew that he knew the bday girl wouldnt approve...my closet frens were invited...and it really hurts to be left out...my fren whom followed me to McD,suggested throw some rocks or we can go to party,say hi and snatch the piza and run...well,he was kinda mad too...wut can we do? i tried to think positive but wut can i make this,wut i see,wut i feel,to be a positive thing? but i keep on living...sometimes,i just ask myself,"wut do i live 4?"...well...like i said in my oral test,i wasnt the same anymore...i miss u so much...since u died,nothing was ever the same...the pic above was taken on my last Raya day...the year of 2004...it happens so fast...so much problems...but so little answers...will this heart ever heals? who can heal it? im so scared...is somebody out there that can lend a hand? i wonder...i used to be so strong...now,i dun know anymore...im angrier than ever...but i dun know why...wait...i do know...im angry at myself...coz im confuse...i dun wut's rite or wrong anymore...damn i just wish i can throw away this pain...

"You used to call me your angel
Said I was sent straight down from heaven
You'd hold me close in your arms

I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me

You used to call me your dreamer
And now I'm living out my dream
Oh how I wish you could see
Everything that's happening for me
I'm thinking back on the past
It's true that time is flying by too fast

I know you're in a better place,
But I wish that I could see your face,
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you..."

Damn...im sorry sham...

Damn it...wut have i done? wut the heck was i thinking...i dun want to lose u...i shouldnt have said wut i said...plz! sham! give me one more chance! i cant lose u....u were like arif and kevin...they were the puzzle of my heart...they complete me...as u were...im just sad that now is different...i know u want me to stand by my own two feet...im trying...but it really helps if u just give me a little support...just a little...im not really confident in myself..u held my hand before...i miss those times...i know i cross the line when i 'kong2' u...i didnt realize wut i was doing...i didnt know it hurt u...i lose M...but im still trying to win her heart...but i dun want to lose a fren...u r precious to me...i mean,as a fren la...not more than that...and it cant be less...This monday...we have the oral test rite...if u just say that u're with me,im sure i can do it...plz sham...u mean more to me than u know...that doesnt mean that i like u or anything...u know who i like rite? u know that im just weird...a bit different...it's true...im a true 'bongsu"...im ashamed...i didnt mean that i want u to literally hold my hands...i just need ur support...that's all...like last year...u ask me a few day ago that im mad at...i didnt answer...yes,i was mad at u coz i thought u lied to me...but when i hear from nat that wafa made u go,i felt ashamed...i shouldnt have given u the silent treatment...im deeply sori...if we can forget the whole fights ever happen,i promise to do anything for u...i promise...we had a lot of fights and it has change me...on the outside...u were the only one who brings peace to my turmoil after those 3 years...i dun know why...but last year,it felt like u understand me...and i still believe that...remember,last year when u cried coz ur voice wasnt loud enough and uztazah made acap read for u? when i heard that,i promise to not make u cry again rite? it is really foolish to say this...but,u did really gave me confidence...can we forget the whole thing ever happen? i can try if u want...and u want me to treat u like a normal fren rite? i can if u want...remember those songs that i gave u for ur present? listen to them...it speaks my mind bout u...i cant lose u...i wont lose another fren...u r precious to me...like i said,not more than a fren but not less...so,if u read this post,plz let me know...i dun want to fight no more...i want us to be like before...