What You Mean to Me..

Before we start going to the main point of this post,mari bercerita sket...patutnya tulis minggu lepas...tapi x sempat...kata ini je la...seminggu lepas,memang aku rasa x bersedia nak datang skolah...bukan sebab rasa x study...tapi...aku cuma x bersedia dari segi rohani...rasanya...ada kat skolah yg perasan...tapi agak susah coz sejak kebelakangan ni....aku makin...ah...x yah cte la part tu...mari start ngan cte ari ni...bangun pagi tok gi bengkel fizik...pe...memang mengantuk...itu la..salah aku gak tido lewat smlm main internet...aduhai...xpela...gi je la...datang2 skolah,smua pandang aku pelik...aku pon pelik ar...then,nat tanya,"amir,asal ko pakai baju lain dari yg lain?"...aku pon..."huh"?...x sempat nk jwb...sori nat...ala..bukan xleh pon...datang kat teratak,gi kat mel,tdo...kemudian,masuk la dalam audi....pe...memang boring la....nasib baik naim ada...at least dia buat aku terjaga...kemudian...rehat...gi la kantin...toyol tu,aku pandang dia je tergelak...gle la dia tu...aku gi tandas sblum kembali ke audi...

tambah lagi mengantuk aku...aduhai...sabar je....msg jap...sblum kembali fokus....akhirnya smua dah balik...tinggal budak2 laki je...sblum diorg nk balik...diorg berkumpul kat dpan gate...azim naik ngan khadamul...qayyum naik ngan hakeem...dana sorg...azrul...x ingat...haha...masa mul nak kluar...pe...memang kelakar...dia dah la tengah pegang plastik air sirap dlm tgn dia...nk kluar kat pintu kecik tepi telefon skolah tu memang tinggi sket...dia tekan motor sampai jatuh airnya! hahahaha...nasib baik tumpah sket je....bukan setakat ni je...azim dah naik ngan mul atas motor...azim nk pass air kat faisal...tbe2,mul tekan motor,azim sampai nk jatuh! hahaha...cuak azim...muka jadi trauma...hahaha...ble tulis memang mcm x kelakar...memang kena berada kat situ la tok 'feel'...hahah

akhirnya tinggal aku ngan puga...fuh...bnyk benda aku belajar pasal dia....dia pon ada masalah dia ngan org lain rupanya...kesian kena tinggal dia sorg2...tapi terpaksa balik...balik2,mkn kfc ngan family...haha...tapi spanjang balik ke rumah...aku terpkir je pasal dia ni...ok,skrg masuk point sebenar...

sbenarnya...otw gi skolah...kat kawasan bangsar...nmpk la dia tgh lepak ngan kwn2...alamak...memang la 'down'kan aku...nak je aku msg dia waktu tu..tanya dia sihat x...dia nak kluar mana...dah nk tekan nama dia dlm hp...alamak...pkir balik...kalau aku libatkan diri dlm benda ni...akan tambah lg terok...aku tutup balik hp...kepala tersandar kat kerusi...ayah nmpk mcm nk tanya something....tapi dia x berkata apa2...dia tahu serba sedikit...tibe2...terpasang lagu yg ada dalam satu movie yg aku tengok beberapa ari lepas,StarStruck dalam kepala aku...nak je aku kata...aku nak bersama ko...aku perlukan ko...alamak...xleh....coz dia x mungkin faham...well,aku pernah buat dia cuba fhm...tapi dia lak yg kata mcm2...maybe perempuan memang cmtu...pilih yg hensem...yg cool...yg talkative....smua tiga aku xde....mayb tu sbb dia reject aku...well,thx to her...i felt an endless hatred...i told pirol that i want to get my revenge one day...but sham once told me to never get my revenge...i wont get anywhere....maybe she's rite...probably...si dia yg hancurkan aku...destroyed me until nothing's left...well,congrats to her..coz she was successful...i never thought i'll be in this position...hahaha....weird....i cant believe im saying this,i kept on complain and complain...kept on blaming her...how stupid can i be?

probably coz i never like anyone like i like her...i dun want to use the word 'love'...coz im still young...i dun even know wut love is...or maybe love is stupid? or im stupid? well wutever it is...i can be sure of one thing...i've never felt this lonely...probably coz i've never been in this kind of situation...a boy met a girl...she showed him kindness...the boy fell for the girl...the girl seems to like the boy..the boy didnt understand his feelings...the girl didnt understand that the boy didnt understand...had a fight...finally,the boy was left with nothing...the girl juz moved on with another boy & another skool...bla bla bla...a fool's story...diyanah once asked me,"kenapa ko x nk share?"...aku x terkata....Syaheela pon pernah kata,jgn pendam sorg diri....mayb aku dah pendam lama sngt...aku dh susah nk luahkan...atau hati aku je dah jadi batu? mayb aku tengah tunggu tok sorg ni....atau...aku cuma tengah tunggu kwn2 aku tok fhm...maybe dia dah berubah tanggapan terhadap aku...mayb aku je yg perasan dulu2...aku masih ingat lagi satu lagu yg ko kata ko suka dulu...ble kte kluar satu ari tu,ko bg aku dngr kat philips mp3 ko...tapi apa yg aku tahu xkan berubah...perasaan dan memori aku ble ko buat aku bahagia dulu...aku akan lepaskan ko...dan bergerak ke arah lain...memberi peluang kepada kaum perempuan skali lg...aku sayang ko selamanya(sbg kwn la skrg)...

Can't blame you, for thinking
That you never really knew me at all
I tried to, deny you
But nothing ever made me feel so wrong

I thought I was protecting you
From everything that I go through
But I know that we got lost along the way

Just know that, I'm sorry
I never wanted to make you feel so small
A story is, just beginning
We'll let the truth break down these walls
Oh, yeah, yeah
And every time I think of you
I think of how you pushed me through
And showed me how much better I could be

You make me feel like I'm myself
Instead of being someone else
I wanna live that everyday
You say what no one else will say
You know exactly how to get to me
You know it's what I need
It's what I need

Here I am, with all my heart
I hope you understand
I know I let you down
But I'm never gonna make
That mistake again
You brought me closer
To who I really am
So, come take my hand
I want the world to see
What you mean to me