As the days go...

Syamil's gone...i feel a little bit empty....a little bit alone....now i understand....efi,it's not that im not 'bersyukur' but,yes,i agree...i have many frens....but no one actually knows wut's inside my heart....no one actually understands me....once,i tried letting this one particular person(OPP) in my heart...in other words,i told that OPP wut i've felt all this years,my actual problems...where my problems originally came from..and even my deepest darkest secret : my family's....but one day,i heard from a fren that,that OPP said that she was bored with me keep talking bout my problems...i was totally shocked....i trully trusted that OPP until i even told her my darkest secret and after i took all of my guts to tell her,all she can say was "im bored"?......ehmm....looks like i was mistaken to trust that OPP by opening my heart....i closed it back...i was a fool...wut i c now,i cant trust no one ever again with my heart...i will never find the key to the lock of my heart...im afraid to trust anyone ever again...that's why,from that particular day,ive put on a mask....never again reveal my problems except 4 1 person : faisal....but he too i am afraid sometimes to open my heart...but with him,i can feel that i can take step by step....wut i think that OPP was too spoiled by that OPP's family...so,that OPP doesnt learn to understand others..but that OPP wasnt the only one...from my eyes,everyone seems like that..why do we have to wear masks? why does our ego are so high? why cant we just show/share our feelings? probably im the only one who thinks this way...i hate wearing a mask...but if it keeps that OPP happy,then,i have no choice.....if it makes others happy,i have no choice...as the days goes by,i just wish i could at least tell it to someone...but i cant....i doubt anyone cares...i can be happy...by wearing a mask? ehm...i may fool the world,but i cant fool my heart...day by day,it's just get worse and worse...i dun know when i'll blow up.....probably soon....akmal's going to another school....damn...