What You Mean to Me..

Before we start going to the main point of this post,mari bercerita sket...patutnya tulis minggu lepas...tapi x sempat...kata ini je la...seminggu lepas,memang aku rasa x bersedia nak datang skolah...bukan sebab rasa x study...tapi...aku cuma x bersedia dari segi rohani...rasanya...ada kat skolah yg perasan...tapi agak susah coz sejak kebelakangan ni....aku makin...ah...x yah cte la part tu...mari start ngan cte ari ni...bangun pagi tok gi bengkel fizik...pe...memang mengantuk...itu la..salah aku gak tido lewat smlm main internet...aduhai...xpela...gi je la...datang2 skolah,smua pandang aku pelik...aku pon pelik ar...then,nat tanya,"amir,asal ko pakai baju lain dari yg lain?"...aku pon..."huh"?...x sempat nk jwb...sori nat...ala..bukan xleh pon...datang kat teratak,gi kat mel,tdo...kemudian,masuk la dalam audi....pe...memang boring la....nasib baik naim ada...at least dia buat aku terjaga...kemudian...rehat...gi la kantin...toyol tu,aku pandang dia je tergelak...gle la dia tu...aku gi tandas sblum kembali ke audi...

tambah lagi mengantuk aku...aduhai...sabar je....msg jap...sblum kembali fokus....akhirnya smua dah balik...tinggal budak2 laki je...sblum diorg nk balik...diorg berkumpul kat dpan gate...azim naik ngan khadamul...qayyum naik ngan hakeem...dana sorg...azrul...x ingat...haha...masa mul nak kluar...pe...memang kelakar...dia dah la tengah pegang plastik air sirap dlm tgn dia...nk kluar kat pintu kecik tepi telefon skolah tu memang tinggi sket...dia tekan motor sampai jatuh airnya! hahahaha...nasib baik tumpah sket je....bukan setakat ni je...azim dah naik ngan mul atas motor...azim nk pass air kat faisal...tbe2,mul tekan motor,azim sampai nk jatuh! hahaha...cuak azim...muka jadi trauma...hahaha...ble tulis memang mcm x kelakar...memang kena berada kat situ la tok 'feel'...hahah

akhirnya tinggal aku ngan puga...fuh...bnyk benda aku belajar pasal dia....dia pon ada masalah dia ngan org lain rupanya...kesian kena tinggal dia sorg2...tapi terpaksa balik...balik2,mkn kfc ngan family...haha...tapi spanjang balik ke rumah...aku terpkir je pasal dia ni...ok,skrg masuk point sebenar...

sbenarnya...otw gi skolah...kat kawasan bangsar...nmpk la dia tgh lepak ngan kwn2...alamak...memang la 'down'kan aku...nak je aku msg dia waktu tu..tanya dia sihat x...dia nak kluar mana...dah nk tekan nama dia dlm hp...alamak...pkir balik...kalau aku libatkan diri dlm benda ni...akan tambah lg terok...aku tutup balik hp...kepala tersandar kat kerusi...ayah nmpk mcm nk tanya something....tapi dia x berkata apa2...dia tahu serba sedikit...tibe2...terpasang lagu yg ada dalam satu movie yg aku tengok beberapa ari lepas,StarStruck dalam kepala aku...nak je aku kata...aku nak bersama ko...aku perlukan ko...alamak...xleh....coz dia x mungkin faham...well,aku pernah buat dia cuba fhm...tapi dia lak yg kata mcm2...maybe perempuan memang cmtu...pilih yg hensem...yg cool...yg talkative....smua tiga aku xde....mayb tu sbb dia reject aku...well,thx to her...i felt an endless hatred...i told pirol that i want to get my revenge one day...but sham once told me to never get my revenge...i wont get anywhere....maybe she's rite...probably...si dia yg hancurkan aku...destroyed me until nothing's left...well,congrats to her..coz she was successful...i never thought i'll be in this position...hahaha....weird....i cant believe im saying this,i kept on complain and complain...kept on blaming her...how stupid can i be?

probably coz i never like anyone like i like her...i dun want to use the word 'love'...coz im still young...i dun even know wut love is...or maybe love is stupid? or im stupid? well wutever it is...i can be sure of one thing...i've never felt this lonely...probably coz i've never been in this kind of situation...a boy met a girl...she showed him kindness...the boy fell for the girl...the girl seems to like the boy..the boy didnt understand his feelings...the girl didnt understand that the boy didnt understand...had a fight...finally,the boy was left with nothing...the girl juz moved on with another boy & another skool...bla bla bla...a fool's story...diyanah once asked me,"kenapa ko x nk share?"...aku x terkata....Syaheela pon pernah kata,jgn pendam sorg diri....mayb aku dah pendam lama sngt...aku dh susah nk luahkan...atau hati aku je dah jadi batu? mayb aku tengah tunggu tok sorg ni....atau...aku cuma tengah tunggu kwn2 aku tok fhm...maybe dia dah berubah tanggapan terhadap aku...mayb aku je yg perasan dulu2...aku masih ingat lagi satu lagu yg ko kata ko suka dulu...ble kte kluar satu ari tu,ko bg aku dngr kat philips mp3 ko...tapi apa yg aku tahu xkan berubah...perasaan dan memori aku ble ko buat aku bahagia dulu...aku akan lepaskan ko...dan bergerak ke arah lain...memberi peluang kepada kaum perempuan skali lg...aku sayang ko selamanya(sbg kwn la skrg)...

Can't blame you, for thinking
That you never really knew me at all
I tried to, deny you
But nothing ever made me feel so wrong

I thought I was protecting you
From everything that I go through
But I know that we got lost along the way

Just know that, I'm sorry
I never wanted to make you feel so small
A story is, just beginning
We'll let the truth break down these walls
Oh, yeah, yeah
And every time I think of you
I think of how you pushed me through
And showed me how much better I could be

You make me feel like I'm myself
Instead of being someone else
I wanna live that everyday
You say what no one else will say
You know exactly how to get to me
You know it's what I need
It's what I need

Here I am, with all my heart
I hope you understand
I know I let you down
But I'm never gonna make
That mistake again
You brought me closer
To who I really am
So, come take my hand
I want the world to see
What you mean to me

Hari Guru 2010 / Di Persimpangan Dilema

Wah2..lmbt sket post kali ni...hari guru yg berjaya dilaksankan lebih kurang 4 hari lalu memang lain dari yg sblumnya...mayb gak coz kelas aku buat persembahan tok hari guru kali ni...well...aku x berharap nk berlakon...dpt jawatan backstage pon jadi la...hahaha...bukannya buat kerja pon...but syukur berjalan lancar smua...

5 DEDIKASI!

datang2 skolah memang berdebar la gak..1st time buat show...harap smua berjalan lancar je...jumpa nat...haha...tengok2 nat pon sakit...tu ar nat..aku dh kata jgn duk ngan aku...tengok sape sakit...hahaha...jaga2 la diri ye...then,hujan rintik2...en khairi suruh buat kat mini dewan...pe...memang panas cmtu..pn siti sarimah akhirnya kata "hujan sket je"...jadi smua kumpul balik...kelas aku kumpul kat teratak kjap sblum bergerak ke belakang perhimpunan...pe...tarian Nicholas,Andrew dan adik Nicholas tu,No Stress,memang bestnya! smart gle tengok...tapi diorg nyer kena gabung ngan kelas akunyer..mayb coz diorg dh buat bnyk sangat tarian...babak pirol memang best! lagi2 tambah lagu kelakar/sexy! hahaha! sori ye pirol! masuk babak cik teoh pula...wah2.."dissapear2!"...aku memang xkan lupa la dia mengjar aku dulu...sbb dia gak aku dpt A dlm sej PMR....akhirnya habis...babak kredit tu la malu gle..aku x biasa buat benda2 cmtu...merah muka aku ble Neetasha panggil nama...then...lepak ngan sham ngan faiz....sambung tengok tarian 'puppet' iklil lak...fuh! memang diorg dh lancarkan! smart gle...ada la budak2 bising kata diorg bajet la...but aku rasa diorg jelez je tu...then kteorg diberi rehat jap...lepak ngan wafa...bukan main happy aku bg dia hadiah...ble ada org ajak dia nk belanja,aku bela ar...lepak ngan toyol jap...bincang ngan dia hal2 'penting'...hahahaha...x abis2 ngan syg dia tu...ish..haha....aku slalunyer menyampah tengok org couple2 ni...tapi ble ngan diorg...aku rasa kelakar...hahaha...mayb coz diorg berdua kwn aku...sesuaila...toyol patut terima laki yg terima dia..then sambung perayaan...MUSICAL CHAIR!

pe...pertama kali tengok cikgu2 pon mcm budak2 gak...tolak sana sini...berebut kerusi...hahaha...akhirnya pn ooi menang...aku nk en zaki menang...ntah la...aku admire dia...memang kelakar la dia...jalan satu kerusi ke satu kerusi...sengaja x nk bg org duduk ngan cpat..hahaha...dh abis tu..aku lepak kat bilik kaunseling...x tempat nk pergi...ini la jadinya ble kwn baik sorg pengawas...mkn kek..fuh! sedap! thx kpada sape yg belinya...aku ingat nk lepak ngan 'dia'...tetapi aku pon sakit...aku masuk bilik kaunseling...duduk...pkir..."pe...bestnya kalau dpt lepak ngan dia skrg"...aku bnyk day dreaming...aku mengaku...haha....aku duk je situ tengok mel,sham ngan nadia buat kerja...nk tlg...tapi mcm xde mood..haha...side effect ubat...otak jadi woozy...ehm...tapi smua tu hilang ble jadi risau...sape x risau ble org yg kte ambil berat tbe2 jatuh sakit...yg pelik...simptom dia aku pon pernah mengalami tapi bukan masa demam...masa mula2 'matang' dulu...skrg...x tahu la...x ingat last kali ble kena....mayb ada kene mengena ngan blood pressure gak kot...well...tahu ler...dia kata jgn risau...well...kte kena la work in 2 ways...aku jaga ko...ko jaga aku...hahahaha...agak x malu kan??? sampai2 masjid,tengok2 xde air lak...aduyai...tercungap-cungap cari air...nasib baik sempat...balik2...terus tdo...tapi memang x tenang...asyik2 batok....pe...menyeksakan...sampai la skrg...tapi aku balik2 rmah tu...tengok2 ada file lagu dlm received files aku...pelik...sape pula yg letak ni...kalau dia,memang make sense...but...agak pelik kalau dia nk bg...kalau sorg lg tu nk bagi...itu lagi x mungkin...ntah la...tapi sape yg bg tu,memang pkir gak pasal aku...ntah sape....tadi aku keluar ngan family...aku asyik ternampak bayangan 'dia'...ehm...aku rindu dia lebih dari aku sedar walaupun dia dh tinggalkan aku...teringat lak lagu ni...

Masa berlalu
Tanpaku menyedari
Percintaan yang kita bina
Hampir terlerai
Apa salahku
Kau buatku begini
Dalam dilema
Di antara jalan derita
Tidak pernah kuduga
Ini semua terjadi

Janganlah engkau
Menghancurkan segala
Setelah lama
Kita mengharungi bersama
Usah biarkan
Cinta kita yang suci
Dilambung ombak
Karam dilautan berduri
Hanya satu pintaku
Moga kau menginsafi

Telah banyak yang kuberi
Sejak dulu lagi
Pengorbanan tiada pernah jemu
Hanyalah Tuhan saja
Bisa menentukan semua
Kesabaran daku menantimu

Kutetap memaafkan
Dan berdoa kau kembali
Sebelum diri melangkah pergi...

Sori la...

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox


The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and for deeds left undone. ~Harriet Beecher Stowe, Little Foxes, 1865


An apology is a good way to have the last word. ~Author Unknown


The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology. ~Red Auerbach


Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift. ~Margaret Lee Runbeck


Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ~Paul Boese


It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission. ~Grace Hopper


For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ~Author Unknown


It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. ~William Blake


True friends stab you in the front. ~Oscar Wilde


Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things. ~Author Unknown

You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched. ~Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

Ehm...ni...brape bnyk aku ltak ni tok ko...i was being insensitive...im sori if i hurted u...

Replying messages...

Ini yg dh lama x ckp tentang ni...salah satu benda yg aku paling pantang...org x bls msg...susah sngt ke nk bls? lg2 ble ada kredit...tlg la jgn bg alasan mcm,"dh lewat ble aku sdr msg tu,buat pe nk bls"...klu xde kredit pon,tlg la bgtahu kat skolah ke,guna hp family member lain ke...ini buat bodo je...aku bukan main risau nk tlg buat kerja smua...projek...but buat bodo je...lg satu,org yg reply satu patah je...pe...memang aku benci gle ble org buat cmni...susah sngt ke nk bg reply yg panjang sket? ni jwb...spatah2 je..."x","ye","apa"...fine..tu mayb hak org tu...tapi pkir la gak perasaan org yg dia bg msg tu x boleh ke? aku susah2 tulis panjang2...risau...ambik berat...tengok2...kecik ciput je korg bls? haish...memang naik angin aku...fine la...aku tahu aku jenis yg x ckp bnyk...jadi korg x nk borak lama kan? korg boring ngan aku kan? ikot la..but for once,tlg la pkirkan org lain untuk seketika...

"Her Most Beautiful Eyes"

A few days ago..i watched one of the episodes of Rurouni Kenshin/Samurai X..i got bored..so i juz opened up the channel...it was about Kenshin(the hero)'s fren,Sanosuke trying to save someone he loves Sayo from Tuberculosis...

it's quite sad though..the song Her Most Beautiful Eyes by Taro Iwashiro were playing the background...something hit me...how far would someone go for the one he loves...wow...love makes u do crazy things...i thought bout it...i once did crazy things...but in the end...nvm..i juz thought that can i do all that again...or im juz afraid of being dissapointed again...

Overboard...

It feels like we’ve been out at sea
So back and forth that’s how its seems
And when I want to talk
You say to me
That if its meant to be, it will be
So crazy in this thing we call love
Now that i've got it that i just cant give up
I’m reaching out for you
Get me out of here in the water and

I’m overboard and I need your love
Pull me up
I cant swim on my own
It's to much
Feels like I’m drowning without your love
So throw yourself out to me
My life saver

Never understood you when you say
Wanting me to meet you half way,
Felt like I was doing my part
You kept thinking u were coming up short
It's funny how these thing change
Cause now I see

It’s supposed to be some give and take I know
Bu your only taking and not givin' any more
So what will I do?
Cause I still love you
You’re the only one who can save me...

Rules or frens?

A few weeks ago..i watched the new naruto movie...its about naruto's teacher wants to sacrifice his life to save his village...even his leader,the hokage told his teacher,kakashi,to do so...when naruto heard bout this,he went after his teacher to stop him...everyone in the village,even his comrades tried to stop naruto from trying to stop kakashi's action...his frens keeps on saying,"it is the hokage's order not to interfere" or "it is the rule to obey the hokage's orders"...naruto didnt stop...he keeps on going to save his teacher...he didnt want his teacher to be a sacrifce...he said,"i cant weight any of my frens life on a scale"...and finally...when he finally saved his teacher...he said to his teacher..."how can i let you die?"...and the most touching sentence...he said to his teacher.."remember this bells? that day u taught us...'Those who break the rules are scum,that's true...but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum...' "

Since this few days...things happen...a lot have to dealt with...frens backstabbing each other...shouting from here to there...frens fighting with each other....it's heartbreaking...oh...and also frens doesnt protect each other...do we call that kind of action as our 'frens'? damn it...fine...i admit it...wut we've done was wrong...but we didnt do it 4 fun...we did have a gud reason...but that doesnt mean we can blame each other when we got scolded...shouldnt we juz keep quiet and protect each other when we got scolded and learn from our mistakes to be better in the future? it's a gud thing we only have a few weeks left....it's also sad watching frens fight with each other...one being jelez...while the other was being stubborn...in another case...one doenst feel easy...while one juz trying to do the best...haish...then,when one doesnt feel easy,they juz backstabbed each other...cant we juz try to undertand each other? we r frens...that's wut sad...im gonna make this rite...i wont abandon my frens...that's for sure!