Home...

Haih..wut a drag...i wanted 2 take pics yesterday....but i had a migrain so i didn have the energy..but i did manage 2 take a couple of pics...i thought of something while i was on my bed...all the things that has happen in the years...all the fights...there's a truth in the saying that time heal all wounds...physically the healing begins in moments and our body does all the work...but when a relationship is injured...some wounds heal in a day...others lay 'there' 4 the rest of our lives...sometimes we only need to heal oursleves...and sometimes our true work lies in healing others...and at that moment...when we sleep the subconscious mind takes over...our dreams can reveal wut's disturbing us in our waking hours...and there r rare occasions in a state between sleep and consciousness when the thing that's most trouble us can emerge...the thing that's most trouble me? well,i c it...and some people have gave me advice...their words was a comfort...but i still felt lost and confuse...i knew that they were worried,not sure how to help me...all of us r hoping that answers r on the way...where is the road back 'home'? i cant seem 2 find it...they always say a heart is not a whole without the one who gets u through the storm...in other words im still blind by the 'fog'...wherever someone thinks of u,that's where u go home 2...is that true? i cant find a home without the 'one'? but no matter how much we think of someone,there r some who wont return...it's a very diffivult thing 2 have ur thoughts reach someone...yet,if u give up and there's no one 2 think bout that person,well..that's just sad...then there really wont be a place 2 return 2...they kept saying to let her go but how can i when she doesnt tell me truth yet? so...no matter wut anyone says,i just have 2 keep thinking of her and create a place where she can return freely at any time...until i know the truth...anyway,Selamat Hari Raya and Happy hols 2 all my frens! Sori if i hurted u guys in any kind of way...

2nd chances...

Damn...M...looks like i cant continue this...i was rite...i shouldnt have been so close with u...i knew that u had another guy...wut a fool...looks like i was 2 excited getting someone that looks like she cared 4 me,that i got my feelings get the best of me...and inside i betrayed my fren...i shouldnt have...it's a gud thing my fren told me bout wut u said bout me...i have 2 let u go...4 his sake and mine....looking at the bright side,at least i wasnt sooo close to u...if i do,it would be hard...but 4 now,i just want 2 lay low...enough bout her...i want to rite bout a certain someone...she and her fren(s)...from wut i've obeserve,not many who wants to get close 2 her...well,it is partially her fault...but still,we cant judge a book by its cover...sometimes,sori 2 say,but she can be a pain but sometimes,she can be a fren who understands and helpful...those people who hates her,just doesnt seem 2 give her a chance...from my point of view,that's how teenagers nowadays...not many who's willingly to give a 2nd chance...those people who hates her,just c her as 'gedik'...like her fren...but unlike her,her fren was hated coz everyone thinks she wants power...but maybe there is a purpose why she does all that...i stood by them 4 some years now and i learn that they're not the type of person everyone thinks...well,1 of 2 that is...but still,she just need some guidance...like me,i was kinda weak..im still is but im stronger than last year...i mean physically...akmal help me with that...when we were f2,almost every guy hates me coz i was 2 soft...i was diff...akmal did tease how weak i was...and sometimes he even left me 2 be with the other guys coz he was ashamed with me...i was often left behind...in the dark corner...but eventhough they treated me that way,i still hold on 2 him...2 tell the truth,i hated almost all the guys back then...they din want 2 be near me coz i was diff...i was soft unlike the other guys...but as the months go,i help u...and ur fren naim...i still gave u guys a chance eventhough u treated me like i was expandable...looking back,i din regret giving them a 2nd chance coz now,u accept me 4 who i am...as the months go,u treated me as an equal especially when we got our pmr results...as u began to accept me,so does naim...followed by che faiz and the others...but that was the guy's part...as 4 the girl's...i was ignorant and stupid back then...probably still is but i've grown from the past...like the guys,i hated almost all the girls after zakwan got hold of my 1st crush at the skool...S...wut a funny story it is if i looked back...but then,W came...and she help me to make peace with the girls who i fought with at the moment...things change and i had 2 leave her...i started to hate girls again...i couldnt even trust any girl at the time...there r some girls who still stood by me...but i never thought 2 find someone...i couldnt trust her when we 1st met...i was just in 2 much pain...nothing goes through my head...but as time past,she help me 2 trust girls again...she was just wut i needed...she helped me to 4get W and moved on....she became my best fren...if i hadnt trust her at the moment,i would still be in pain...well,i was always in pain...but u get my point...me and W r still frens f.y.i.....but nothing has ever been the same...me and her r still frens why? coz i gave her a 2nd chance...i dun want 2 be in the cycle of hatred any longer...like before...i dun want to change to somebody who holds hatred in his heart and change to somebody who still holds a grudge or something like that...it's true,people goes through their lives hurting others and being hurt...but it's not easy 4 us to hate 1 another...but still,people try 2 hate 1 another coz they just cant stand one another...one of the humans weakness...our weakness...if that keeps up,the future generation will be even worse...we have the power to forge our own destiny...so let's make a bright one...if a fight occur between people,they cant simply just do nothing and 4get bout it coz they cant...when they cant,the grudge that they have from the fight,is still resides in their hearts...they need 2 give a chance 2 solve wutever is between them so they dun have anymore grudge against each other...this is just from my point of view...if someone hurted me,or vice versa i would do anything to get peace again...if someone hurted me,of course my heart would be wounded...wouldnt any heart is? the only thing that can cure a wounded heart is love...from giving people a chance,love will come..or is it vice versa? wutever the case is,we have to give people a 2nd chance no matter how we hated them...when giving someone a chance probably we can change him/her to somebody new who we can learn to love...or create a bond with...like me and best fren did...that's all that it needs...a 2nd chance....

Myself v2

"who are you in naruto?" quiz and the result is Sakura.
You are brave and valueable. Your friends could not get anywhere without you. You heal them all in a way, physically or mentally. You... are needed much more than you think you are and have far more potential then you know. You are a trustworthy soul.

"How easy is it to hurt you?" quiz and the result is You are a softie.
You are gentle hearted and loving, yet easy to hurt. If someone close to you gets hurt or passes away, you do not hold... back your tears. When you are extremely happy you tend to tear up and sometimes let it all out. You are a regular soft hearted human. Stay that way and keep the tears where they should be. You are the perfect cryer.

"What Are You Hiding From Yourself?" with the result Sadness.
You don't like being sad so you hide it when you are from others and yourself. You enjoy being happy and up-beat, you don't like showing when you're unhapp...y. But at times the simplest thing can make you cry becuse you hold it in too long..Read More

The PAST!!!

I got it...that familiar feeling! it's the same feeling that i had everyday when i was still living in BU...i had a dream...and thx to that dream...i found where did the familiar feeling came from....i thought and thought about it more...and i guess....my problems all started 4 years ago....my unhappiness...this pain and anger...im getting fed up....and that always lead to another problem....that's my problem...but i guess...it has been long enough....im sick and tired....nat gave me some useful info....and i thought bout it all nite yesterday...and somehow,all that im feeling rite now....somehow it connects with my past..."ble ko kecewa,ko akan start rindu benda2 lama"...that's it...now....im starting to appreciate this fren of mine...****************....thx 4 everything...i luv u 4ever and always(as a fren of course,dun wanna give the wrong idea)...it's true...i was more happy when i lived in BU...at that time...i wasnt so focused on my grandma's death and the lost of my 'kg'....i was too focused on the lost of my frens...but then,i was only f1...as the years go,i didnt miss them as much as when i was f1 coz a certain someone help me to 4get the past...now i miss her more than my past come 2gether...she relates to my past somehow....maybe she's rite..."u live in a miserable life u cant stand seeing other people being happy"...a quote i got from the famous tv show HOUSE...maybe that's me...that's wut i have become over the years....but,this has gone 4 long enough...something needs to change...I need to change! i cant go on like this 4ever...i want to be strong 4 her....i will keep my promises! i will get stronger! my grandma and my old frens has left me a smile that i will never 4get...those smiles will give me strength...one day,i'll meet my old frens again...that's my goal....like i said to kevin a few years ago,"we may never c each other,but we will succeed 2gether"....now i remember...im gonna beat my sisters and prove them wrong....the spirit to be strong must be born from myself...that's true...but it is also true that u wont survive life alone...if it's like that,then i will find somebody else...i will get stronger! u'll c!

A familiar feeling...

Ehm...i keep thinkin bout 2 days ago...when we had our merdeka celebration...in the moring,as usual,when i reach skool..i slept 4 a while at the canteen until a CERTAIN someone WAKES me up! haha...M! u came with ure fren and said that me and her r 'sedondon'...she wore dark red baju kurung while i ws wearing a maroon baju melayu...when i saw her,something was familiar bout her...not sure wut...but it wasnt the 1st time i had that kind of feeling...and the 'wind' came...as usual...then,when the performers from Sri Pantai were performing,something struck me when i saw one of the girls...the 'wind' came back and i felt like something was coming back to me...a part of my memory? but i dun have amnesia or anything...a part of my past? wut was it then? argh! the answer seems so close,but yet it is so far...it has been bothering me 4 years...i gotta know wut was that feeling all about...so familiar....damn it....

Merdeka! / u make me more crazier M!

Merdeka!
Well,2day was a blast! The celebration went until 10 am...it was long but fun! at 1st...i was kinda nervous to meet this someone...but as time goes...it wasnt worth it...so i went on by myself...well,i wasnt actually alone...i had reuben who tagged along...he was quiet but,still when he talks,he tried to be the best that he can...just like a certain somebody...well,i admire people like that...so,we parted ways at 10 coz he wanted to go to the cantin to eat while at that point,i was still waiting 4 this someone...when Mr. Rafique came to deliver the 'Nasi Briyani' that our teacher ordered,my heart shattered and i changed my mind...it wasnt worth it...after that,jega called to bring the thunbdrive to the computer room coz our group was next to present...after we've finished our presentations,suddenly our est teacher said,"let's take some pictures"...we were shocked...trust me...coz she was always strict and was always out to get us...but,looks like she's getting nicer...who cares? haha! so,we followed her 'order' and took some pics! sham and suresh was the 1st pic i took...haha! weird but they actually look sweet...haha! jega,pirol and the others were after that...it lasted until the bell rang..we were so excited taking pics until we didnt even heard the bell rang! haha! then,there was the jamuan pps...well,to tell the truth,it wasnt as much fun as last year...but i found something...someone...she made me feel like i can hold on again...when she touched me,it feels like...hard to explain...but i can feel that she cared for me...well,just as a fren....but,she's soooo caring...to tell the truth,she isnt so pretty in pics but when i meet her eye 2 eye,she's adorable! 4 so long i havent felt that way...she reminded me of someone...i cant get so close with her...i know that she has another person...but when im with her,the anger...the pain...it all dissapeared...now,i kept thinking bout her...should i make a move? but i dun want to have high hopes 4 her...but...damn....but,eventhough it lasted for only bout 20-30 mins,it was a moment i'll never forget...

"Feels like I'm falling and I,I'm lost in your eyes,You make me Crazier...Crazier...Crazier..."

Myself v1

Well,i was bored...staying at home 4 more than 4 days...so i did some quizes in fb...2 find out more bout myself....here r the results...

Wut element r u?
You are a spunky and young at heart person who loves to have a good time. Your youthful abandon breathes new life ...into those around you. You are always making up new games and striving to learn new things from others. You also have a great love for animals, which tends to judge what you eat. Many, however, cannot see the beauty of simplicity, and their greed and destruction tends to affect you the most. Using self discipline fueled by your passion for the world, you are a strong force to deal with. Like a hurricane you have the ability to tear through those who threaten those whom you care for. You heart is very large, and you tend to crush on those who are just as caring. Friends are easily made, and you tend to forgive those who have hurt you, although it may take you a little bit to let go of a grudge. Overall, you fly through life with a passion for others and a will to spread peace. Your opposite is Earth.


Which bleach captain r u?
4th Squad: Unohana Retsu.
The mother figure of the 13 Court Guard Squads. She's always calm and attentive, and also not a woman to... be hampered with. She will distribute punishment when needed, and will not tolerate misbehavior.


"Where do you belong in the dark, light, or in both "
Your some what in dark but more towards light.
you enjoy friends and some of your family members but not much and you always like going out with your friends


What type of person do you attract? quiz and the result is You attract Yuppies!
You attract the very well-dressed, job oriented type of people. They usually have their finances together, are 'middle of the road' on most topics, generally... happy with the 'main-stream' of things. If it is stability you are after, these are good people to attract, if you seek adventure, it may be time for an overhaul.


How do others view you? quiz and the result is Happy
You're funny, witty, charming and everyone likes you. You're a good listener and know exactly what to say to please a crowd. One problem. Are you truly happy?


"How Evil Are You?" quiz and the result is Good.
Thank goodness there are people like you in the world! You are tolerant and conscious of others, and people are generally drawn to your kin...d open demeanor. You give help when it is needed and enjoy the happiness of others. Sometimes you may have bad days, but you try not to take it out on other people. Your goodness inspires people to be the same way, and you know that your friends will do the same things for you that you do for them.


Which Harry Potter Character Are You? quiz and the result is You are Ginny Weasley
You are having crush on someone special and are trying to catch their eye.You tend to be shy at times but are a friendly and loving person.


What kind of person should you be with? quiz and the result is Loving
Your dream partner has to be a loving one. He or she will bring you gifts all the time, for no reason at all. You are their main priority! They are definately a keeper!


Which Zodiac Sign Are You Most Compatible With? quiz and the result is Virgo
You are most compatible with VIRGO! I'm sure most of your friends are Virgoes! Together you're going to rock! Virgoes do not trust others nor do they have c...onfidence in themselves and their judgments. This is because they are conscious of certain shortcomings in themselves of worldliness, of practicality, of sophistication and of outgoingness. They have potential abilities in the arts, sciences and languages. They are still waters that run deep. Yet in their unassuming, outwardly cheerful and agreeable fashion, they can be sensible, discreet, well spoken, wise and witty, with a good understanding of other people's problems.


"What Naruto Character Are You? (Boy characters)" quiz and the result is Naruto.
You are Naruto! Naruto is very hyper and can be a bit rash, but that's all right because that's him...! Naruto is the jinchuuriki host of the nine-tailed fox. He is a very powerful ninja who has an uncanny knack for getting into bad situations. But he always pulls through and in the process usually changes someone's life, with his kindness. Be honored to be like Naruto!


Which akatsuki member r u? Result is Konan
You are quiet and mysterious, care about your friends and are able to do anything for them. But they may abuse it and make you do bad things. You like art and small details, like Origami, and can make beatiful things from just a piece of wrinkled paper you find on a floor.


"who are you in naruto?" quiz and the result is Sakura.
You are brave and valueable. Your friends could not get anywhere without you. You heal them all in a way, physically or mentally. You... are needed much more than you think you are and have far more potential then you know. You are a trustworthy soul.


Which Naruto Chakra Element Do You Have An Affinity Towards?" quiz and the result is Your elemental paper has turned wet! Your element is WATER!.
Water chakra users usually have a split pe...rsonality, one minute they are collected and focused, the next stormy and raging. However, their sharp minds usually overcome this mixed blessing. Water is best suited against fire, however is worst against earth jutsu. An example of a Shinobi who uses this element is the second Hokage, and the Village of Water is the Hidden Mist Village.Read More


there's more to come...