Shoulder

A few days ago, i watched a Japanese drama titled Samurai Sentai

There two girls, a yellow and a pink...there are three other guys, a red,blue and green...the guys asked the yellow named Kotoha why she admired the pink, Mako?

Kotoha replied by saying that Mako was strong and kind but at the same time, she had a flashback, once she was playing her flute in the middle of the night because she missed her sister since she had to be far away from her sister so that she can be samurai...she almost cried because she missed her sister so much...when she wanted to go back to her room, she saw Mako was standing near the door...Kotoha just stared at her and Mako looked at her and said, "don't worry, your secret is safe with me". Kotoha then cried on Mako's shoulder...

Back in reality, a monster was attacking and Mako got hurt in the battle without letting any of the other samurai knows...the monster wanted the children to cry in a way so the girls took the children to safe place while the guys think of something...while Kotoha was playing the children, Mako step aside to tender her wounds...Kotoha saw her injury and asked what happened...Mako kept saying that it is nothing and kept on smiling...she said that she always wanted to be a bride, a wife...and sometimes she thinks like in this kind of situation,if they can't stop the monster, she wondered if she could ever have a dream come true...from a frown, she suddenly smiled at Kotoha and said that she wouldn't want to listen to such a story...Kotoha grabs Mako in her arms and said that she always relied on her eventhough Mako has her own problems and she was sorry...she also said that she wouldn't have to be so strong all the time...Mako was shocked and cried on Kotoha's shoulder for a change...

I almost cried watching this episode and wondering where have all those people that gave me their word...that said that they will 'be there for me'....one day, i just hope i can meet people who is true to their hearts...a true friendship...

A Heart...

What is it actually? Im not so sure about it myself...since this few months i've been called with such names...weak...useless...loser...what else? all of it describes me...

It's not far from the truth...i cant do anything right...everything i touched turns into a disaster...my results....friendships...relationships....all goes down into the drain...

So-called friends..."u can talk to me...i'll listen" im sick of hearing these words...does anyone ever able to keep their word? their promise? im sick of living like this...

Always scared everyday...always crying every night...seems like i cant trust anyone right now...i cant trust any word they say to me anymore...

Once i've helped them,they just ran away with their friends...leaving me behind...i trusted each and everyone of them...

Now i dont even want to feel happy...why? because when you're happy,you'll hope...once the hope turns out to be a false one,you'll get dissapointed...

If you want me to be strong then you'll lose what u have...if becoming strong is in the dark,then i'll go to the deepest depth...

I may be useless to you...i may be nothing...i may be a coward...but i have a heart...and bit by bit,you are destroying it...

Siberia

"When you come back I won't be here"
She said and gently pulled me near
"If you want to talk you can call
And no it's not your fault"

I just smiled and said let go of me
But there's something that I've just gotta know
"Did someone else steal my part?"
She said it's not my fault

Then my heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
'Cause it's all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn't want you too

I was drifted in between
Like I was on the outside looking in,
In my dreams you are still here
Like you've always been

I gave myself away completely
But you just couldn't see me
Though I was sleeping in your bed
'Cause someone else was on your mind
In your head

When I came back she wasn't there
Just a note left on the stairs
"If you want to talk give me a call...."